It's been a while since we've been here together. It's not that I don't love you anymore, it's just that I've been busy. I spent some time reading Infinite Jest and that's kept me from you, and I'm sorry. One day soon, I'll spend some time telling you about those days, but for now, let's talk about my latest book from Blogging for Books: A Girl Is A Half Formed Thing.
Readers, I was super excited for this book. I basically am obsessed with the New York Times. When they say a book is a notable book of the year, I AM ALL UP ON IT. So, when BFB was all, hey, AGIAHFT is on our site, I jumped at the opportunity to get it. (Side note: can you tell I've been reading IJ? These abbrevs are OOC (out of control, obvi).)
Here we are, a few weeks later, several glasses of wine deep, and I have to say: I was not nuts about this book.
I am basically a victim of over-excitement. If someone tells me that I'm going to love something, I typically get SO EXCITED about it, it couldn't possibly live up to my VERY LARGE expectations. This is the life of an overly excitable person.
HOWEVER, this book was phenomenal. I can totally see why it made all the best of lists, including my beloved NYT's list. It's exceptionally written. It's really unlike anything I've ever read. I just was absolutely miserable reading it.
Okay, so you know how in the winter, when it's super cold, you don't care how sad you are? It's like, yeah, it's cold, life sucks, let me curl up under this blanket and drink. This book is PERFECT for reading during the winter. However, I started reading this book in the height of LA summer. While the sun was shining, and I was totally enjoying life, I'd pick up this book and want to die. This is a totally seasonal book. And I was reading it in the wrong season.
Should I tell you a little bit about the book? Yeah, I guess so. Okay, so it's all about this young girl and her relationship with her brother. It's told via her perspective, the style of which is like reading her mind, so it feels super intimate. Her brother was born with a brain tumor, not given much time to live, survived it, and it basically ruined her life. She lived in the shadow of this her whole shitty life. Her mother lives for her brother and basically treats the girl like she's the biggest piece of shit ever. And because of this, the girl treats herself like the biggest piece of shit ever. The book follows her from the time she was a small child to her young adult life and she never treats herself well. Seriously, every single time I opened the book I thought to myself, "What else could happen that would make me feel like shit today? Oh, that." It's really hard to read the things she does to herself. Once her brother becomes sick again, she begins to hurt herself even more and it's basically like you're in her shoes, hurting yourself by reading this. Being a young woman, I understand the compulsion she had for her actions, but it did not make reading them first hand any better. I basically wanted to cry or die any second I picked up this book. THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SPEND THE PAST TWO WEEKS.
The writing style was really remarkable though. It's unlike anything else I've ever read. The best thing I could relate it to is the book Room. Have you read Room? (RED RUM RED RUM (sorry, i'm drunk)). It's this not so great book I read in the book club I destroyed where the narrator is a small child who's whole life has been in this small room. The style is super hard to get into because it's written as though a child would speak. This book does what Room was trying to do, but so much better. Stylistically, it's as though you're in this woman's mind, no matter what her age. It's super fragmented and stream of consciousness, but it's still like poetry it's so beautiful. I'm pretty sure that's what makes it so heartbreaking. It's like reading your own thoughts. If your own thoughts were super fucked up.
Alright, so let's get on to the scoring. Would I talk about this book while drunk? Well, after I finished it this weekend, I did talk a lot about how miserable I was reading it and how seasonal this book is. I'm not sure if that counts.
Would I recommend this book while I'm drunk? Probably not. Although, side note, I have a friend that I know will LOVE this book because he loves depressing shit. But unless I become an alcoholic, I'll probably be sober when I tell him all about it. ENJOY THE SHOUT OUT, HOMIE.
And for good measure, here's a picture of me finishing the book:
Not pictured: my tears. Just kidding, they're there, they filled the hot tub.
