Hello friends! Here we are again. I READ ANOTHER BOOK. Just kidding, I've read a bunch since we last talked. At least three I think? We went into Franzenland and talked about running and what else? Let me get up and review my list... Okay! Just those two! Well... here we are. I read my SECOND PRESIDENTIAL BIOGRAPHY!! Only (let me google this) 42 more to go!
So, this time around, I read JOHN ADAMS by DAVID MCCULLOUGH. It was awesome. First off, LOVE ME some David McCullough (I have to look down at the book every time I need to spell his name, this is going to get daunting.) Did you know he's from Pittsburgh??? Yeah, that's pretty cool. He's also a pretty exceptional writer. I read his book about the history of the Brooklyn Bridge a while back. It was fantastic. He made even the bends seem really fucking interesting. So of course when I was in the market for a John Adams book, I'd choose the one written by him.
Fun fact, because we all love fun facts: This book was SUPPOSED to be about John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, but DMC LOVED John Adams waaaaaay more and so he decided to change focus and write this book. After reading it, I can totally see why.
So, as of now, John Freakin Adams is my FAVORITE president of the presidential biographies I've read. (Recap: I'm reading all of them in order, so that's just G Dubs and JFA so far.) But JFA was such a better dude than G Dubs.
I don't even know how to begin talking about this book. Let's start off with a little story time:
JFA was a pretty bright kid, son of a farmer, went to Harvard, became a lawyer. You know typical shit for a founding father. He was very outspoken and argumentative, but that's only because he knew his shit. (As my dad would say, "Someone like you who THINKS you know everything makes it really hard for people like me who actually do.") One of my favorite things about him before he became like THE MAN was that after the Boston Massacre, he stepped up to defend the British soldiers. Like, basically, that was a huge deal. EVERYONE hated the Brits, but he knew they deserved a fair trial, whether or not they were scumbags. Like I said, good dude.
He was super against slavery. He grew up poor and was used to hard work and unlike OTHER founding fathers (ahem, GDUBS and THOMAS JEFFERSON) he didn't rely on slaves to build his empire. He never owned slaves and he was super outspoken against it. I find that to be really admirable, or at least compared to all the other shitheads of the time. One of my FAVORITE/MOST ABSURD things I read in this book was that when they were writing the Declaration of Independence, TJ wanted to add this part about the Brits being responsible for slavery in America and JFA was all, "Yo man, I think that's on us."
Oh yeah, and he was also the guy that nominated GDUBS as the commander of the army in the Revolutionary War. No big deal. And you know, obviously was part of writing the freakin DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Stand up dude, all around.
After the war, JFA became a diplomat for America. He went to France, Holland and eventually Great Britain. And it's basically all because of him that we're an independent nation today. He was away from his family this whole time and worked super hard to not only stop France from asserting their power over the states, but to develop agreements with the other countries to finance and protect our developing nation. I don't want to say that we'd be fucked without him, but we would have been.
AND THEN, GDUBS was "unanimously elected" to the presidency because all those fuckers on the Republican side schemed to get people to vote for him over John Adams. And John Adams was a fucking awesome Veep. He stood by GDUBS side and took all the flack for anything that went wrong.
Then, when it came time for him to be President, everyone shit ALL OVER HIM. It was fucking ridiculous! People in his own party were dicks. The Republicans were dicks. EVEN HIS BFF THOMAS JEFFERSON WAS A DICK. (Side note, Fuck Thomas Jefferson.) People basically treated him like shit. He had a lot of great accomplishments, like, NOT going to war against France and standing our ground as a neutral power. He created the Navy. But no, "he was a power grubbing fuckhead," according to everyone else.
Side note, I see a lot of parallels between Adams and Obama. There was this Republican newspaper that used to write nasty things about John Adams (Hello, Fox News!) and the Republicans did everything in their power to undermine his authority (hmmm sounds familiar) and even people in his own party shit talked him (Go fuck yourself Alexander Hamilton.) ALSO, like Obama, JFA had a KICKASS wife, Abagail. She was smart as hell and talked a lot of sense into Adams when he became a hot head. He obviously loved her a ton, and it was really sad to read about their time apart and when SPOILER ALERT she died before him. One of the truly great loves like Barack and Michelle or Sid and Nancy.
And all these fuckheads schemed their way out of getting him re-elected and putting TJ in power. But JFA got them. He appointed all these cabinet positions like twenty minutes before his term ended as a big giant fuck you.
TJ did a lot to counteract JFA's measures as prez, like disband the Navy and some of his shadier laws like the "Don't Shit Talk the President" law. Eventually, karma got to TJ though. His cronies at the papers turned against him and leaked the story about him fucking his slaves and being a prick. And other countries attacked the US and he sure as fuck wish he had that Navy.
Speaking of TJ, he was an asshole. He and Adams were super tight during the Revolution. They spent tons of time together and had nothing but wonderful things to say about one another. But THEN, JFA gained in popularity and clearly was the successor to GDUBS for the presidency, and so TJ turned on him. He used to write shit anonymously about him in the papers and scheme against him and undermine him. AND THEN once he became President, he realized how hard it was but STILL WOULDN'T APOLOGIZE. He used to write him all these fucked up letters, blaming him for shit he didn't do, and then telling JFA how fucked up it was. FINALLY when they were old, Adams was like, "Bro, I still love you!" and they became BFFs again. (I will admit I teared up when they became bros again. THEY JUST LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH!)
CRAZY FUN FACT: They died on the SAME DAY, within hours of one another. on JULY FOURTH.
Another thing that pissed me off is how much they'd twist shit around on Adams. He was a Federalist, yeah, but like, just because he felt that the country needed a strong central government to band together it was NOT BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE KING. But obviously that was WAY TOO DIFFICULT for those assholes on the Republican side to understand. And people misconstrued his passion for insanity, even WELL AFTER he left office.
So let's recap why I loved John Adams so much:
Smart as fuck.
Totally great lawyer.
Didn't own slaves or stand for slavery.
Basically responsible for US being independent nation.
Loyal veep.
Responsible President, promoting peace during wartime.
Genuine good dude and didn't fuck over his asshole friends.
Did everything for the good of the nation, even if the nation treated him like shit.
So now that I've rambled on and on about John Adams, let's get into our rating system.
Would I talk about this book while drunk? I LITERALLY CANNOT STOP. I am such a fucking nerd. I have such a metaphorical hard on for John Adams that I find myself bringing him up in every single conversation since I finished the first section of this book.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? Hell to the fucking yes. It was really well written and I found it to be super captivating. I liked how much DMC focused on his prime years, rather than shit that didn't matter. Like, Chernow's GDUBS book was good, but some shit about his childhood, I really only needed the bare bones. I also find myself so obsessed with it, that I went out and bought the TJ book today so that I could read it soon because I'm hoping it will be like a sequel.
Alright dudes, I've spent enough time going on and on about our second president. #sorrynotsorry. Night!
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Sunday, October 4, 2015
A Girl Is A Half Formed Thing - Cabin In The Woods Edition
HEY YINZ! What's going on?
It's been a while since we've been here together. It's not that I don't love you anymore, it's just that I've been busy. I spent some time reading Infinite Jest and that's kept me from you, and I'm sorry. One day soon, I'll spend some time telling you about those days, but for now, let's talk about my latest book from Blogging for Books: A Girl Is A Half Formed Thing.
Readers, I was super excited for this book. I basically am obsessed with the New York Times. When they say a book is a notable book of the year, I AM ALL UP ON IT. So, when BFB was all, hey, AGIAHFT is on our site, I jumped at the opportunity to get it. (Side note: can you tell I've been reading IJ? These abbrevs are OOC (out of control, obvi).)
Here we are, a few weeks later, several glasses of wine deep, and I have to say: I was not nuts about this book.
I am basically a victim of over-excitement. If someone tells me that I'm going to love something, I typically get SO EXCITED about it, it couldn't possibly live up to my VERY LARGE expectations. This is the life of an overly excitable person.
HOWEVER, this book was phenomenal. I can totally see why it made all the best of lists, including my beloved NYT's list. It's exceptionally written. It's really unlike anything I've ever read. I just was absolutely miserable reading it.
Okay, so you know how in the winter, when it's super cold, you don't care how sad you are? It's like, yeah, it's cold, life sucks, let me curl up under this blanket and drink. This book is PERFECT for reading during the winter. However, I started reading this book in the height of LA summer. While the sun was shining, and I was totally enjoying life, I'd pick up this book and want to die. This is a totally seasonal book. And I was reading it in the wrong season.
Should I tell you a little bit about the book? Yeah, I guess so. Okay, so it's all about this young girl and her relationship with her brother. It's told via her perspective, the style of which is like reading her mind, so it feels super intimate. Her brother was born with a brain tumor, not given much time to live, survived it, and it basically ruined her life. She lived in the shadow of this her whole shitty life. Her mother lives for her brother and basically treats the girl like she's the biggest piece of shit ever. And because of this, the girl treats herself like the biggest piece of shit ever. The book follows her from the time she was a small child to her young adult life and she never treats herself well. Seriously, every single time I opened the book I thought to myself, "What else could happen that would make me feel like shit today? Oh, that." It's really hard to read the things she does to herself. Once her brother becomes sick again, she begins to hurt herself even more and it's basically like you're in her shoes, hurting yourself by reading this. Being a young woman, I understand the compulsion she had for her actions, but it did not make reading them first hand any better. I basically wanted to cry or die any second I picked up this book. THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SPEND THE PAST TWO WEEKS.
The writing style was really remarkable though. It's unlike anything else I've ever read. The best thing I could relate it to is the book Room. Have you read Room? (RED RUM RED RUM (sorry, i'm drunk)). It's this not so great book I read in the book club I destroyed where the narrator is a small child who's whole life has been in this small room. The style is super hard to get into because it's written as though a child would speak. This book does what Room was trying to do, but so much better. Stylistically, it's as though you're in this woman's mind, no matter what her age. It's super fragmented and stream of consciousness, but it's still like poetry it's so beautiful. I'm pretty sure that's what makes it so heartbreaking. It's like reading your own thoughts. If your own thoughts were super fucked up.
Alright, so let's get on to the scoring. Would I talk about this book while drunk? Well, after I finished it this weekend, I did talk a lot about how miserable I was reading it and how seasonal this book is. I'm not sure if that counts.
Would I recommend this book while I'm drunk? Probably not. Although, side note, I have a friend that I know will LOVE this book because he loves depressing shit. But unless I become an alcoholic, I'll probably be sober when I tell him all about it. ENJOY THE SHOUT OUT, HOMIE.
And for good measure, here's a picture of me finishing the book:
It's been a while since we've been here together. It's not that I don't love you anymore, it's just that I've been busy. I spent some time reading Infinite Jest and that's kept me from you, and I'm sorry. One day soon, I'll spend some time telling you about those days, but for now, let's talk about my latest book from Blogging for Books: A Girl Is A Half Formed Thing.
Readers, I was super excited for this book. I basically am obsessed with the New York Times. When they say a book is a notable book of the year, I AM ALL UP ON IT. So, when BFB was all, hey, AGIAHFT is on our site, I jumped at the opportunity to get it. (Side note: can you tell I've been reading IJ? These abbrevs are OOC (out of control, obvi).)
Here we are, a few weeks later, several glasses of wine deep, and I have to say: I was not nuts about this book.
I am basically a victim of over-excitement. If someone tells me that I'm going to love something, I typically get SO EXCITED about it, it couldn't possibly live up to my VERY LARGE expectations. This is the life of an overly excitable person.
HOWEVER, this book was phenomenal. I can totally see why it made all the best of lists, including my beloved NYT's list. It's exceptionally written. It's really unlike anything I've ever read. I just was absolutely miserable reading it.
Okay, so you know how in the winter, when it's super cold, you don't care how sad you are? It's like, yeah, it's cold, life sucks, let me curl up under this blanket and drink. This book is PERFECT for reading during the winter. However, I started reading this book in the height of LA summer. While the sun was shining, and I was totally enjoying life, I'd pick up this book and want to die. This is a totally seasonal book. And I was reading it in the wrong season.
Should I tell you a little bit about the book? Yeah, I guess so. Okay, so it's all about this young girl and her relationship with her brother. It's told via her perspective, the style of which is like reading her mind, so it feels super intimate. Her brother was born with a brain tumor, not given much time to live, survived it, and it basically ruined her life. She lived in the shadow of this her whole shitty life. Her mother lives for her brother and basically treats the girl like she's the biggest piece of shit ever. And because of this, the girl treats herself like the biggest piece of shit ever. The book follows her from the time she was a small child to her young adult life and she never treats herself well. Seriously, every single time I opened the book I thought to myself, "What else could happen that would make me feel like shit today? Oh, that." It's really hard to read the things she does to herself. Once her brother becomes sick again, she begins to hurt herself even more and it's basically like you're in her shoes, hurting yourself by reading this. Being a young woman, I understand the compulsion she had for her actions, but it did not make reading them first hand any better. I basically wanted to cry or die any second I picked up this book. THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED TO SPEND THE PAST TWO WEEKS.
The writing style was really remarkable though. It's unlike anything else I've ever read. The best thing I could relate it to is the book Room. Have you read Room? (RED RUM RED RUM (sorry, i'm drunk)). It's this not so great book I read in the book club I destroyed where the narrator is a small child who's whole life has been in this small room. The style is super hard to get into because it's written as though a child would speak. This book does what Room was trying to do, but so much better. Stylistically, it's as though you're in this woman's mind, no matter what her age. It's super fragmented and stream of consciousness, but it's still like poetry it's so beautiful. I'm pretty sure that's what makes it so heartbreaking. It's like reading your own thoughts. If your own thoughts were super fucked up.
Alright, so let's get on to the scoring. Would I talk about this book while drunk? Well, after I finished it this weekend, I did talk a lot about how miserable I was reading it and how seasonal this book is. I'm not sure if that counts.
Would I recommend this book while I'm drunk? Probably not. Although, side note, I have a friend that I know will LOVE this book because he loves depressing shit. But unless I become an alcoholic, I'll probably be sober when I tell him all about it. ENJOY THE SHOUT OUT, HOMIE.
And for good measure, here's a picture of me finishing the book:
Not pictured: my tears. Just kidding, they're there, they filled the hot tub.
Monday, June 29, 2015
I'M BACK, MOTHERFUCKAS! Punch Bowls & Pitcher Drinks
My dearest readers,
Long time, no blog! I've gone through many moons since we last spoke. There was a health kick. And a dry period. Many, many books. Some traveling. And some big life changes. All of these things have kept me from you. However, I'm back, bitches!
Let's keep this brief. It's midnight on a school night and I've had a decent amount to drink. But I have an exciting book to talk about:
Punch Bowls and Pitcher Drinks!
I have had this book for quite some time and, as discussed above, have not had the time to pick a drink, force it on my friends, and write about it. Until tonight.
I arrived at Jerssica's house to spend some quality Sunday Funday time with the Jerssicas. I figure, what better time to make a big batch cocktail.
After hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of flipping through the book (this book is a mere 100 pages WITH PICTURES) we settled on the Lychee Mojito Punch. And no, I didn't make a drink from the "LAZY SUNDAYS" section. That'd be too easy.
This recipe says it serves four, so obviously I doubled it. Actually, I kind of tripled it? See, I doubled it at first, but then it seemed like mostly solids (lychee, limes, mint) and not enough liquids (rum.... and rum). So I added more rum.
These drinks were STRONG. Each of us had two and boy oh boy, I'm not quite sure WHAT happened on True Detective tonight. We all agreed that it could use more lime, and maybe even more lychee. But that's probably because of the addition of the extra rum. Overall it was pretty refreshing.
The whole book is nice. It's not super extensive, but there were a lot of tasty sounding drinks, enough that it made it hard to choose just one. There's also some yummy looking photos.
So let's see if I can remember the rating system:
Would I talk about this book when drunk? Yeah, so I took some time to be SUPER HEALTHY and I didn't drink much. So obviously I didn't talk about any books at this time. JUST KIDDING, I talked about books non stop. I was just sober. I think this book even came up. Something like, "Once I start drinking again, I have to make everyone cocktails!"
Would I recommend this book while drunk? Eh.
Long time, no blog! I've gone through many moons since we last spoke. There was a health kick. And a dry period. Many, many books. Some traveling. And some big life changes. All of these things have kept me from you. However, I'm back, bitches!
Let's keep this brief. It's midnight on a school night and I've had a decent amount to drink. But I have an exciting book to talk about:
Punch Bowls and Pitcher Drinks!
I have had this book for quite some time and, as discussed above, have not had the time to pick a drink, force it on my friends, and write about it. Until tonight.
I arrived at Jerssica's house to spend some quality Sunday Funday time with the Jerssicas. I figure, what better time to make a big batch cocktail.
After hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of flipping through the book (this book is a mere 100 pages WITH PICTURES) we settled on the Lychee Mojito Punch. And no, I didn't make a drink from the "LAZY SUNDAYS" section. That'd be too easy.
This recipe says it serves four, so obviously I doubled it. Actually, I kind of tripled it? See, I doubled it at first, but then it seemed like mostly solids (lychee, limes, mint) and not enough liquids (rum.... and rum). So I added more rum.
These drinks were STRONG. Each of us had two and boy oh boy, I'm not quite sure WHAT happened on True Detective tonight. We all agreed that it could use more lime, and maybe even more lychee. But that's probably because of the addition of the extra rum. Overall it was pretty refreshing.
The whole book is nice. It's not super extensive, but there were a lot of tasty sounding drinks, enough that it made it hard to choose just one. There's also some yummy looking photos.
So let's see if I can remember the rating system:
Would I talk about this book when drunk? Yeah, so I took some time to be SUPER HEALTHY and I didn't drink much. So obviously I didn't talk about any books at this time. JUST KIDDING, I talked about books non stop. I was just sober. I think this book even came up. Something like, "Once I start drinking again, I have to make everyone cocktails!"
Would I recommend this book while drunk? Eh.
Friday, March 27, 2015
Salvage the First Bad Man, Yes Please!
HELLO READERS!
This is going to be a hodge podge.
I said that in a very strange voice, but you can't hear me.
In the month of March, I read three books:
Salvage The Bones by Jesmyn Ward
The First Bad Man by Miranda July
Yes Please by Amy Poehler.
WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!
I mean, not really. None of these books were THE ONE.
Let's start with Yes Please.
Amy Poehler is a very polite, very funny woman. I like that she stands up for women and does a ton of shit to better the plight of the woman. Her book was fine. I don't care much for comedy books, so I don't know what they're really supposed to offer. I found her very heartwarming and kind. She seemed smart and like a person I'd want to be friends with. I assume that this is the point of a memoir. HOWEVER, I thought all of these things about her before I read the book. I did learn she's from Boston and went to Boston College and cheers for stupid ass teams like the Red Sox. This makes me like her less.
Basically, this book did nothing for me. She told some funny or heartwarming stories, but I would have felt the same way about her as I did before I read the book. (Actually, I would have liked her more because FUCK BOSTON!) A for effort Amy. And thank you, Jerrsica, for lending me the book! I did enjoy reading it. It was a nice book to read after failing miserably at Ulysses. (Don't even get me started!!)
So for the drunk scale, I'd say no and no. This is a fine book, but you don't need to read it.
Let's move on to the next borrowed book! The First Bad Man!
My super cool friend from work lent this to me. Leant? Lent? How do you spell this?
It's good. It's very captivating. I think I read it in like, three days.
I had issues with the book though. The main character is this super passive woman. Now, I feel like I can be pretty passive to a fault, but this lady. Oh man. I didn't understand anything that happened to her! She just kind of went with the flow to a point where, half of the things that happened, I didn't understand why. Like even a normal passive person would not just go along with this stuff. And I didn't understand the point of it! Sometimes, things happen in a novel where I don't necessarily agree with them, but I can see why the author made the decision. Most of the decisions in this book I just didn't understand the point of. I feel like mostly everything was weird for weird's sake. That's okay, I think Miranda July's writing makes up for this. And typically, there's a super sad scene that kind of justifies everything that happens. Like I kind of disliked everything in this book until the very end. The last two pages made everything okay and I maybe even cried a little bit and loved it. I'm not a monster.
So yes, I've totally talked about this book while drunk. The night I finished it, I was out telling my whole party what happened. They were totally not as interested as I was, but I don't care. I liked this book for it's weirdness and I had to tell everyone I knew.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? Seeing as I haven't already, I'll say no. Not because I didn't like it, but because I don't think it's a book for everyone. And the people I get drunk with would not care for this book. I think if I got drunk near a stranger, I would recommend this book though!
Last book we need to discuss is Salvage The Bones.
This is another book that I read in a matter of days. It's fantastic. It's definitely one of the better books I read this year.
It follows a poor family in Mississippi in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. Most of the characters are very young and trying to make their way. The story is told through the eyes of Esch.
Her family has been through a lot, her mother died when she was young and she's had to keep an eye on her family of many men. While her father is a drunk, her brothers are constantly getting into trouble, Esch finds out she's pregnant. The father is one of her brothers friends who seems like A REAL FUCKIN DIRT BAG. Esch is madly in love though and there's a lot of drama that follows this. And it breaks my heart because he's the worst. I mean, most people can't walk away from the worst when he's the love of your life, but my god. As an outsider, I wanted to fucking break this guy's face.
There's also a lot of hurricane drama, which is interesting to hear from this point of view. Basically no one but the alcoholic father thought anything was going to happen, and they all basically ignored the warnings.
There's also a side story about the one brother's dog and dog fights and puppies. Basically there are a ton of layers to this novel and they're all as heartbreaking as the next.
Jesmyn Ward's writing is superb and crazy sad. I felt like crying while reading most of this book. The narrator is so tragic and lovable, it's hard to put into words. This book is definitely worth reading.
So yeah, I'd talk about this book while drunk. Actually, after only reading 50 pages, I had a whole conversation about Parvo at the bar one night. I think we've got that drunk convo covered here.
Yes, I'd recommend it drunk, or sober. It's a great book with superb writing that deserves a place on many a book shelf.
LOOK AT THIS AMERICA, FOUR REVIEWS IN ONE NIGHT. PHEW!!!! NOW I CAN GO DRINK IN PALM SPRINGS WITHOUT ALL OF THIS HANGING OVER MY HEAD. HAPPY WEEKEND!!!
This is going to be a hodge podge.
I said that in a very strange voice, but you can't hear me.
In the month of March, I read three books:
Salvage The Bones by Jesmyn Ward
The First Bad Man by Miranda July
Yes Please by Amy Poehler.
WE HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT!
I mean, not really. None of these books were THE ONE.
Let's start with Yes Please.
Amy Poehler is a very polite, very funny woman. I like that she stands up for women and does a ton of shit to better the plight of the woman. Her book was fine. I don't care much for comedy books, so I don't know what they're really supposed to offer. I found her very heartwarming and kind. She seemed smart and like a person I'd want to be friends with. I assume that this is the point of a memoir. HOWEVER, I thought all of these things about her before I read the book. I did learn she's from Boston and went to Boston College and cheers for stupid ass teams like the Red Sox. This makes me like her less.
Basically, this book did nothing for me. She told some funny or heartwarming stories, but I would have felt the same way about her as I did before I read the book. (Actually, I would have liked her more because FUCK BOSTON!) A for effort Amy. And thank you, Jerrsica, for lending me the book! I did enjoy reading it. It was a nice book to read after failing miserably at Ulysses. (Don't even get me started!!)
So for the drunk scale, I'd say no and no. This is a fine book, but you don't need to read it.
Let's move on to the next borrowed book! The First Bad Man!
My super cool friend from work lent this to me. Leant? Lent? How do you spell this?
It's good. It's very captivating. I think I read it in like, three days.
I had issues with the book though. The main character is this super passive woman. Now, I feel like I can be pretty passive to a fault, but this lady. Oh man. I didn't understand anything that happened to her! She just kind of went with the flow to a point where, half of the things that happened, I didn't understand why. Like even a normal passive person would not just go along with this stuff. And I didn't understand the point of it! Sometimes, things happen in a novel where I don't necessarily agree with them, but I can see why the author made the decision. Most of the decisions in this book I just didn't understand the point of. I feel like mostly everything was weird for weird's sake. That's okay, I think Miranda July's writing makes up for this. And typically, there's a super sad scene that kind of justifies everything that happens. Like I kind of disliked everything in this book until the very end. The last two pages made everything okay and I maybe even cried a little bit and loved it. I'm not a monster.
So yes, I've totally talked about this book while drunk. The night I finished it, I was out telling my whole party what happened. They were totally not as interested as I was, but I don't care. I liked this book for it's weirdness and I had to tell everyone I knew.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? Seeing as I haven't already, I'll say no. Not because I didn't like it, but because I don't think it's a book for everyone. And the people I get drunk with would not care for this book. I think if I got drunk near a stranger, I would recommend this book though!
Last book we need to discuss is Salvage The Bones.
This is another book that I read in a matter of days. It's fantastic. It's definitely one of the better books I read this year.
It follows a poor family in Mississippi in the days leading up to Hurricane Katrina. Most of the characters are very young and trying to make their way. The story is told through the eyes of Esch.
Her family has been through a lot, her mother died when she was young and she's had to keep an eye on her family of many men. While her father is a drunk, her brothers are constantly getting into trouble, Esch finds out she's pregnant. The father is one of her brothers friends who seems like A REAL FUCKIN DIRT BAG. Esch is madly in love though and there's a lot of drama that follows this. And it breaks my heart because he's the worst. I mean, most people can't walk away from the worst when he's the love of your life, but my god. As an outsider, I wanted to fucking break this guy's face.
There's also a lot of hurricane drama, which is interesting to hear from this point of view. Basically no one but the alcoholic father thought anything was going to happen, and they all basically ignored the warnings.
There's also a side story about the one brother's dog and dog fights and puppies. Basically there are a ton of layers to this novel and they're all as heartbreaking as the next.
Jesmyn Ward's writing is superb and crazy sad. I felt like crying while reading most of this book. The narrator is so tragic and lovable, it's hard to put into words. This book is definitely worth reading.
So yeah, I'd talk about this book while drunk. Actually, after only reading 50 pages, I had a whole conversation about Parvo at the bar one night. I think we've got that drunk convo covered here.
Yes, I'd recommend it drunk, or sober. It's a great book with superb writing that deserves a place on many a book shelf.
LOOK AT THIS AMERICA, FOUR REVIEWS IN ONE NIGHT. PHEW!!!! NOW I CAN GO DRINK IN PALM SPRINGS WITHOUT ALL OF THIS HANGING OVER MY HEAD. HAPPY WEEKEND!!!
Salad Love?????
Hello friends,
I know that it's been so long since I drunk book reported you. And I'm sorry! I've been mildly drunk or SUPER drunk recently. But never in the place to talk about the 4 books that I've read - UNTIL NOW.
Let's talk about the latest super awesome book from Blogging For Books, Salad Love by David Bez.
Let's start with the title. This title is fucking terrible. I'm sorry, but SALAD LOVE??? What, do you want, your ass kicked?? Who even likes salads? NO ONE.
With that said, there's some pretty good recipes in here. I think I've made three recipes from this book so far. One is fucking amazing. I think about it all the time, AND THIS IS A SALAD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
Things that I like about this book:
1. There is a photo with every recipe.
2. There are a lot of recipes.
3. Every recipe has an alternative. "Oh, you don't eat meat? Here's a way to make this salad vegetarian friendly. Or fish friendly. I don't know your life."
I know I started this book report guns blazing, but I actually am crazy about this book. I plan to make every dinner for the rest of my life from this book. (Just kidding. That's a lofty goal.)
So let's talk about the three recipes I made.
The first was a pretty basic salad. (A basic salad for a basic bitch.) It had salad bits, fruit like peaches and blueberries, mint, walnuts and cheddar. It was fine. I would eat it again, but I wouldn't dream about it.
The next salad I made was more of a hot salad. It had potatoes, green beans, tomatoes, olives and pesto. It wasn't bad. I ate it three times. but I think it was missing something. Maybe cheese? Everything in my life is missing cheese.
Now, let's talk about the salad I loved.
It starts as a plate of greens. Pile on some jasmine rice. Cut up an avocado and throw on top. Then add a shit ton of chives. Oh hello, hard boiled egg. We're almost complete. We just need the dressing made of sesame oil, soy sauce and wasabi. Now you have a salad that people dream of and eat constantly. Fuck, maybe I CAN call this book Salad Love.
Now, I know this a short review, and I have three other books to talk about, but I am vacationing tomorrow so I need to keep this brief.
Have I talked about this book while drunk? NO, what am I? CRAZY? I don't talk about fucking salads when I'm drunk. I talk about real books. And pizza.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? That's a tough question because rarely, when myself or a friend is drunk, do I say, "FUCK YEAH THIS SALAD ROCKS! SPEAKING OF WHICH, HERE'S A BOOK ABOUT SALADS!!!"
I'm sorry, book, by my drunk standards you don't pass. But by my normal, trying to be healthy standards, YOU SOAR!!! SOAR EAGLE SOAR!!!!!
Ooh, and here are some photos of my salads. Don't worry, the first one is that bomb ass salad I have been referring to. The others you don't even need to look at.
I know that it's been so long since I drunk book reported you. And I'm sorry! I've been mildly drunk or SUPER drunk recently. But never in the place to talk about the 4 books that I've read - UNTIL NOW.
Let's talk about the latest super awesome book from Blogging For Books, Salad Love by David Bez.
Let's start with the title. This title is fucking terrible. I'm sorry, but SALAD LOVE??? What, do you want, your ass kicked?? Who even likes salads? NO ONE.
With that said, there's some pretty good recipes in here. I think I've made three recipes from this book so far. One is fucking amazing. I think about it all the time, AND THIS IS A SALAD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.
Things that I like about this book:
1. There is a photo with every recipe.
2. There are a lot of recipes.
3. Every recipe has an alternative. "Oh, you don't eat meat? Here's a way to make this salad vegetarian friendly. Or fish friendly. I don't know your life."
I know I started this book report guns blazing, but I actually am crazy about this book. I plan to make every dinner for the rest of my life from this book. (Just kidding. That's a lofty goal.)
So let's talk about the three recipes I made.
The first was a pretty basic salad. (A basic salad for a basic bitch.) It had salad bits, fruit like peaches and blueberries, mint, walnuts and cheddar. It was fine. I would eat it again, but I wouldn't dream about it.
The next salad I made was more of a hot salad. It had potatoes, green beans, tomatoes, olives and pesto. It wasn't bad. I ate it three times. but I think it was missing something. Maybe cheese? Everything in my life is missing cheese.
Now, let's talk about the salad I loved.
It starts as a plate of greens. Pile on some jasmine rice. Cut up an avocado and throw on top. Then add a shit ton of chives. Oh hello, hard boiled egg. We're almost complete. We just need the dressing made of sesame oil, soy sauce and wasabi. Now you have a salad that people dream of and eat constantly. Fuck, maybe I CAN call this book Salad Love.
Now, I know this a short review, and I have three other books to talk about, but I am vacationing tomorrow so I need to keep this brief.
Have I talked about this book while drunk? NO, what am I? CRAZY? I don't talk about fucking salads when I'm drunk. I talk about real books. And pizza.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? That's a tough question because rarely, when myself or a friend is drunk, do I say, "FUCK YEAH THIS SALAD ROCKS! SPEAKING OF WHICH, HERE'S A BOOK ABOUT SALADS!!!"
I'm sorry, book, by my drunk standards you don't pass. But by my normal, trying to be healthy standards, YOU SOAR!!! SOAR EAGLE SOAR!!!!!
Ooh, and here are some photos of my salads. Don't worry, the first one is that bomb ass salad I have been referring to. The others you don't even need to look at.
Saturday, February 28, 2015
Clean Slate or The Week I Tried Not To Drink Or Eat Anything
Hey Ya'll
It's drunk book review time! We're in the presence of another free book from bloggingforbooks.org: Clean Slate, A Cookbook and Guide, Reset Your Health, Detox Your Body, and Feel Your Best.
Side note, I used to work at Martha Stewart's magazine Body + Soul, or Whole Living, which is what it became after I left. There was this 21 day action plan where you basically cut out anything that tastes good, and I had done it then. This cookbook follows that idea, so why not the fuck try it again.
So, this cook book suggests you detox the shit out of your life. There's a 21 day plan wherein the first week you eat only fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, oil and seasonings. The second week you add in fish and gluten free grains. The third week you add in soy and eggs.
My life has been shitty lately. All I've done is work. When I say that, I mean that. I wake up, go to work, leave work, and go to sleep. I hadn't worked out in weeks so when I got this new cookbook in the mail, I decided to take it to heart. A 21 day detox seemed like the best way to get my life in order.
T-minus 1 day: I go to the grocery store and get shit for the first week. These are the recipes I picked out:
Apple Cucumber and Lemon Smoothie (Perfectly Fine)
Coconut Cherry Smoothie (Good!)
Beet, Avocado, and Arugula Salad with Sunflower Seeds (Good!)
Baked Sweet Potato with Greens (Not bad!)
Cauliflower "Rice" Stir Fry with Pumpkin Seeds (Good at first!)
Most of this stuff was super easy to make. The most difficult was the cauliflower rice, but it was really just throwing that into a food processor. Everything was pretty good for the most part. I was basically just eating smoothies and salads so there's not much to report here. I also was working about 15 hour days, so I can barely even remember what food (or anything) was at this point.
People kept asking me how it felt to give up all this shit and detox. Basically coffee is the hardest to give up cold turkey. I obviously missed getting wasted, but I could handle it. Being tired for four days until I got used to not drinking coffee, that was hard. Otherwise, I was so busy at work that by the time I got to eat, I didn't give a fuck what I was eating. That made for an easy detox. The first week flew by!
Second week though, that's where we are now, and clearly I'm drunk. I couldn't take it. I don't know if the food was bad, or it was week two and I just couldn't handle the food any more, but I hard core quit this shit.
Week two, I made:
Cardamom Quinoa Porridge with Pear (FINE.)
Roasted Vegetables with Quinoa (The worst thing I've ever tasted ever, I basically just threw this away every time I tried to eat it)
Buckwheat Noodles, Bok Choy, and Sweet Potatoes in Miso-Lime Broth (I admittedly fucked this up, and it was super terrible. Although, I don't believe this was a good recipe to start with. Did you know there is a such thing as white sweet potatoes?? I didn't, and I accidentally bought them. They're TERRIBLE. They're basically regular potatoes that are slightly sweet. This might have been better, had I used what the recipe called for. I will not blame Martha for this one.)
Black Cod with Herbs, Zucchini, and Whole Wheat Cous Cous (OMG, AM I EATING GARBAGE?!)
This shit was fucking terrible. Nothing I made this week was worth eating and I felt like dying anytime it was time to eat. This is why I quit. Not because I couldn't handle giving things up, like I said, I've done this detox before. No, I couldn't do it because the thought of eating this garbage from week two made me want to kill myself. I basically just threw everything I made this week away. BONUS, it's easy to lose weight when your diet plan is to make garbage and then just throw it away and eat nothing.
I don't know if I'd consider this cookbook a good one. This morning, I made another recipe from it, Fritatta with Spring Vegetables, but I improvised hard. Basically, I think this book is a good base, but if you stick to the recipes, it's garbage.
So would I recommend this book when drunk? No. No I wouldn't. I didn't enjoy anything I made from it. I wanted to vomit while eating most things. I don't think this is something the author of this book strived for.
Have I talked about this book while drunk? WELL THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. I didn't drink while using this book because I WAS ON A FUCKING DETOX. So I guess the answer is no. Had I been able to drink, would I have talked about this book? Well, the world will never know...
Oh, and here are some pictures of the food I made and what I looked like while eating it (not happy):
It's drunk book review time! We're in the presence of another free book from bloggingforbooks.org: Clean Slate, A Cookbook and Guide, Reset Your Health, Detox Your Body, and Feel Your Best.
Side note, I used to work at Martha Stewart's magazine Body + Soul, or Whole Living, which is what it became after I left. There was this 21 day action plan where you basically cut out anything that tastes good, and I had done it then. This cookbook follows that idea, so why not the fuck try it again.
So, this cook book suggests you detox the shit out of your life. There's a 21 day plan wherein the first week you eat only fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, oil and seasonings. The second week you add in fish and gluten free grains. The third week you add in soy and eggs.
My life has been shitty lately. All I've done is work. When I say that, I mean that. I wake up, go to work, leave work, and go to sleep. I hadn't worked out in weeks so when I got this new cookbook in the mail, I decided to take it to heart. A 21 day detox seemed like the best way to get my life in order.
T-minus 1 day: I go to the grocery store and get shit for the first week. These are the recipes I picked out:
Apple Cucumber and Lemon Smoothie (Perfectly Fine)
Coconut Cherry Smoothie (Good!)
Beet, Avocado, and Arugula Salad with Sunflower Seeds (Good!)
Baked Sweet Potato with Greens (Not bad!)
Cauliflower "Rice" Stir Fry with Pumpkin Seeds (Good at first!)
Most of this stuff was super easy to make. The most difficult was the cauliflower rice, but it was really just throwing that into a food processor. Everything was pretty good for the most part. I was basically just eating smoothies and salads so there's not much to report here. I also was working about 15 hour days, so I can barely even remember what food (or anything) was at this point.
People kept asking me how it felt to give up all this shit and detox. Basically coffee is the hardest to give up cold turkey. I obviously missed getting wasted, but I could handle it. Being tired for four days until I got used to not drinking coffee, that was hard. Otherwise, I was so busy at work that by the time I got to eat, I didn't give a fuck what I was eating. That made for an easy detox. The first week flew by!
Second week though, that's where we are now, and clearly I'm drunk. I couldn't take it. I don't know if the food was bad, or it was week two and I just couldn't handle the food any more, but I hard core quit this shit.
Week two, I made:
Cardamom Quinoa Porridge with Pear (FINE.)
Roasted Vegetables with Quinoa (The worst thing I've ever tasted ever, I basically just threw this away every time I tried to eat it)
Buckwheat Noodles, Bok Choy, and Sweet Potatoes in Miso-Lime Broth (I admittedly fucked this up, and it was super terrible. Although, I don't believe this was a good recipe to start with. Did you know there is a such thing as white sweet potatoes?? I didn't, and I accidentally bought them. They're TERRIBLE. They're basically regular potatoes that are slightly sweet. This might have been better, had I used what the recipe called for. I will not blame Martha for this one.)
Black Cod with Herbs, Zucchini, and Whole Wheat Cous Cous (OMG, AM I EATING GARBAGE?!)
This shit was fucking terrible. Nothing I made this week was worth eating and I felt like dying anytime it was time to eat. This is why I quit. Not because I couldn't handle giving things up, like I said, I've done this detox before. No, I couldn't do it because the thought of eating this garbage from week two made me want to kill myself. I basically just threw everything I made this week away. BONUS, it's easy to lose weight when your diet plan is to make garbage and then just throw it away and eat nothing.
I don't know if I'd consider this cookbook a good one. This morning, I made another recipe from it, Fritatta with Spring Vegetables, but I improvised hard. Basically, I think this book is a good base, but if you stick to the recipes, it's garbage.
So would I recommend this book when drunk? No. No I wouldn't. I didn't enjoy anything I made from it. I wanted to vomit while eating most things. I don't think this is something the author of this book strived for.
Have I talked about this book while drunk? WELL THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. I didn't drink while using this book because I WAS ON A FUCKING DETOX. So I guess the answer is no. Had I been able to drink, would I have talked about this book? Well, the world will never know...
Oh, and here are some pictures of the food I made and what I looked like while eating it (not happy):
Sunday, February 8, 2015
Spring Cleaning (Is It Spring Yet?)
We're going to make this VERY brief. It's 2:13am, I'm drunk, and I am not about to get super ranty.
So, I finished a bunch of books so far this year, and I've been very lazy about getting drunk. This is not to say that I haven't been drunk yet this year. The issue is that I've gotten TOO drunk and not been able to accurately discuss these books.
I have two more books to discuss here:
Pastoralia by George Saunders
The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbably by Nassim Nicholas Taleb.
Let's discuss Pastoralia:
This collection of short stories was pretty great. They're all super weird, which I was not suspecting. The first story takes place in this weird, futuristic museum where these people pretend to be cavemen. There's another story that has this weird airplane strip club and a dead aunt that comes back to life and just wants to fuck. There's another that reminded me a lot of Scientology. I laughed a lot while reading these stories, and also felt really alone and sad inside.
I am not doing this collection justice, nor am I making an sense. I finished this book over a month ago and I'm also exhausted and wasted.
Let's cover the main parts here: Pastoralia was great. I'd recommend it drunk or sober and I've talked about it a bit, both drunk and sober. This boy I like, he also read this book recently and I tried to make him talk to me about it, but pretty much failed. I blame it on the fact that I don't think he cares much to talk to me in general though and that this has nothing to do with the book. GEORGE SAUNDERS THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Anyway, I'm excited to read more of you, Georgie Boy. A+.
Onto Black Swan or The Impact of the Worst Fucking Book I've Read This Year. Oh man. I fucking hate this book. Not worth my time or energy, that's for sure.
The theory itself is very cool and makes total sense. Basically, this dude is all, "You can't predict shit!" His theory is based on the fact that throughout time, everyone always thought there were only white swans in the world. And then one day, OH HELLO BLACK SWAN. And how all of life is like this, that you cannot predict anything because there's always something that you hadn't planned for, some big life changing fact. Yeah, I agree with that. We are not very good at guessing what comes next. Life is unpredictable. Okay, cool Nassim. He talks about how we use history to try to predict the future, but that history is not a good indicator of this. He uses this analogy about turkeys. Like, if for 355 days, a turkey was fed every day, on the 356th day, the turkey would assume that it's going to be fed again. Except that it's Thanksgiving so this turkey is going to be totally murdered. The turkey doesn't know this, this is an unexpected event, yadda yadda. Okay cool, Nassim I'm on board. I get it. And yet, 400 pages later, he's still using these little anecdotes and stories to try to convince me of this theory, even though I was on board from the beginning.
Imagine being at a party, and you're stuck talking to this lame ass dude. Let's call him Nassim. Nassim only has one thing to talk about, and while you agree with him, he just won't shut up about it. He goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on about it. He finds about 200 ways to tell you about it. This idea is not like, SUPER REVOLUTIONARY EITHER, but he spends HOURS trying to convince you of something you basically already agree with because you're not a fucking idiot. That's what reading this book is like.
At one point in the book, Nassim is like, "Hey, if you're not interested in the technical aspect of this theory, skip ahead!" And I was like THANK FUCKING GOD. Any time he suggested I skip part of his book, I did. Because I was miserable. All I wanted to do was find an excuse to leave this party and stop listening to him talk because OMG I GET IT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT NASSIM, PEOPLE LIKE TRYING TO PREDICT SHIT. PEOPLE LIKE TO PRETEND THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. PEOPLE LOVE TO BE RIGHT. AND BEING RIGHT ABOUT SHIT GET'S PEOPLE OFF, THAT'S WHY THEY DO IT.
OMG, readers, I'm sorry. This book makes me get super capsy, so let's cut this short. I've already lost one friendship over this book (RIP, Andrew. It was good while it lasted.), I don't need to lose anymore. (Side note: If you want to remain friends with me, only recommend good books. Don't be an asshole. Life is too short to read garbage).
Suffice to say, I will not be talking about this book while drunk (I'll mostly be yelling) and I will never ever ever recommend this book. This book is my Jake Gyllenhall. We are never ever ever getting back together, like EVER.
So, I finished a bunch of books so far this year, and I've been very lazy about getting drunk. This is not to say that I haven't been drunk yet this year. The issue is that I've gotten TOO drunk and not been able to accurately discuss these books.
I have two more books to discuss here:
Pastoralia by George Saunders
The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbably by Nassim Nicholas Taleb.
Let's discuss Pastoralia:
This collection of short stories was pretty great. They're all super weird, which I was not suspecting. The first story takes place in this weird, futuristic museum where these people pretend to be cavemen. There's another story that has this weird airplane strip club and a dead aunt that comes back to life and just wants to fuck. There's another that reminded me a lot of Scientology. I laughed a lot while reading these stories, and also felt really alone and sad inside.
I am not doing this collection justice, nor am I making an sense. I finished this book over a month ago and I'm also exhausted and wasted.
Let's cover the main parts here: Pastoralia was great. I'd recommend it drunk or sober and I've talked about it a bit, both drunk and sober. This boy I like, he also read this book recently and I tried to make him talk to me about it, but pretty much failed. I blame it on the fact that I don't think he cares much to talk to me in general though and that this has nothing to do with the book. GEORGE SAUNDERS THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
Anyway, I'm excited to read more of you, Georgie Boy. A+.
Onto Black Swan or The Impact of the Worst Fucking Book I've Read This Year. Oh man. I fucking hate this book. Not worth my time or energy, that's for sure.
The theory itself is very cool and makes total sense. Basically, this dude is all, "You can't predict shit!" His theory is based on the fact that throughout time, everyone always thought there were only white swans in the world. And then one day, OH HELLO BLACK SWAN. And how all of life is like this, that you cannot predict anything because there's always something that you hadn't planned for, some big life changing fact. Yeah, I agree with that. We are not very good at guessing what comes next. Life is unpredictable. Okay, cool Nassim. He talks about how we use history to try to predict the future, but that history is not a good indicator of this. He uses this analogy about turkeys. Like, if for 355 days, a turkey was fed every day, on the 356th day, the turkey would assume that it's going to be fed again. Except that it's Thanksgiving so this turkey is going to be totally murdered. The turkey doesn't know this, this is an unexpected event, yadda yadda. Okay cool, Nassim I'm on board. I get it. And yet, 400 pages later, he's still using these little anecdotes and stories to try to convince me of this theory, even though I was on board from the beginning.
Imagine being at a party, and you're stuck talking to this lame ass dude. Let's call him Nassim. Nassim only has one thing to talk about, and while you agree with him, he just won't shut up about it. He goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on about it. He finds about 200 ways to tell you about it. This idea is not like, SUPER REVOLUTIONARY EITHER, but he spends HOURS trying to convince you of something you basically already agree with because you're not a fucking idiot. That's what reading this book is like.
At one point in the book, Nassim is like, "Hey, if you're not interested in the technical aspect of this theory, skip ahead!" And I was like THANK FUCKING GOD. Any time he suggested I skip part of his book, I did. Because I was miserable. All I wanted to do was find an excuse to leave this party and stop listening to him talk because OMG I GET IT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT NASSIM, PEOPLE LIKE TRYING TO PREDICT SHIT. PEOPLE LIKE TO PRETEND THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. PEOPLE LOVE TO BE RIGHT. AND BEING RIGHT ABOUT SHIT GET'S PEOPLE OFF, THAT'S WHY THEY DO IT.
OMG, readers, I'm sorry. This book makes me get super capsy, so let's cut this short. I've already lost one friendship over this book (RIP, Andrew. It was good while it lasted.), I don't need to lose anymore. (Side note: If you want to remain friends with me, only recommend good books. Don't be an asshole. Life is too short to read garbage).
Suffice to say, I will not be talking about this book while drunk (I'll mostly be yelling) and I will never ever ever recommend this book. This book is my Jake Gyllenhall. We are never ever ever getting back together, like EVER.
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