Another Blogging for Books book came, and this one seemed perfect for my blog: The Drunken Cookbook from Milton Crawford. What better book to get drunk and review than a cook book made for drunks.
I received the book a few days ago, right before a trip to Santa Barbara with my family. WHAT PERFECT TIMING. I flipped through it looking for the perfect food to make for my family once we all got wasted, which should easily be the second we arrive at our house.
The book is hilarious. The author warns you several times to not get too drunk and try to cook. They also have several tests to administer to determine what level of drunk you are, i.e. what level you can cook. (I accidentally forgot to take one of these tests.)
So, I picked a recipe that seemed relatively easy and relatively delicious: Char-Grilled Vegetable and Cheese Quesadillas with Fried Eggs.
Now comes the hard part.
EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE WE ARRIVED IN SANTA BARBARA WE HAVEN'T BEEN HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT SINCE WE'VE GOTTEN DRUNK. I blame Thanksgiving.
Finally, today, we took a trip to wine country and went to a vineyard and drank all day. After an hour back in the car, where we each took a nap, I started slaving away at the stove.
I forgot to take the quiz to see how drunk I was. Seeing as I made the food SOMEWHAT successfully and didn't burn this rental down, I'd say that I didn't need to.
The recipe was super easy to follow. I basically just looked at the ingredients and did what I wanted. Quesadillas are not hard, so I enjoyed a few glasses of wine while I cooked. My family sat in the other room eating cheese and crackers.
After chopping up a bunch of veggies and toppings, you throw the veggies in the oven and burn them. Then you start making quesadillas. Then you fry some eggs. This is a lot easier the fewer people you have to cook for. I was cooking for five so it was super annoying and everyone seemed cranky that it was taking so long.
I made quesadillas one by one and the second I walked into the dining room, I wanted to cry. Every single person had the most MISERABLE look on their face. Apparently, they "ate way too much cheese while waiting." Fucking drunk people.
Throughout the "meal" I heard things like, "Well, I ate around the vegetables." "LOOK. I FINALLY ATE THE WHOLE THING." "Do you really want me to eat this until I puke? Because I will." AND THESE WERE MY PARENTS.
I thought it was pretty good, but I was surrounded by dickheads who hated everything. Clearly this was not my best effort. I think that I would make this again for people, but starve them before serving.
Onto the rating system:
Do I talk about this book a lot when I'm drunk?
Well, for the past few days, I made a big fucking deal about having to get drunk and make food for people based on a recipe from this book. And every time I was drunk I kept asking people to get hungry so I could cook. So yeah, sure, for the past 5 days, I've talked about this book A LOT while drunk.
So would I recommend this book while drunk?
I think it's a pretty good cookbook for drunk people, so probably. It's funny and easy to follow. I would just make sure people like meat. There are A LOT of meat recipes in here, so I don't know how much I'll use it. But yeah, I'll recommend it to my drunk, meat friendly friends.
Time to go get into the hot tub and drown my sorrows in more wine.
Oh, and here are some pictures of everyone looking ready to die:
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