OMG! Looks like Sunday Funday accidentally turned into Drinkday Thinkday!! Is that a thing? I don't think that it is, but it makes sense to me.
ANYWAY, I accidentally drank too much this evening, but looks like it's a win/win because now I can finally review Moby Dick!!
So, I've been reading this book for the past month, and finally finished it a few days ago. Boy was that a chore. Can I just say, that movie Matilda is a total liar. THERE IS NO WAY THAT EIGHT YEAR OLD READ THIS BOOK. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY SUPER POWERS SHE HAD. This is the biggest lie that I have ever witnessed, and I'm pretty sure that it was a deciding factor in me reading this book. "Oh, a fictional eight year old has read it? I can handle it."
Boy, was I mildly wrong. This book is a TOUGH READ. And I like tough reads. I chose to read Infinite Jest during the most drunk year of my life. This book, this book was a way different story.
Ishmael the narrator, incase you've been living under a rock, describes in great detail, so so many things about whales throughout the story that I almost feel like an expert. This book was really hard to get through because of so many digressions. The whole book, I kept thinking about that scene in Catcher in the Rye. DIGRESSION!!!!!! (If you don't know what I'm talking about: READ A FUCKING BOOK.)
But, regardless of the interruptions, and the difficulty of the story, this was a great book. I understand why it's a classic. It was SO MODERN. I remember when I first started it, I was so impressed by how current the language felt. It's totally understandable that this book was ignored in it's time, because it was far too fragmented, it hardly reads like a novel. But that was one thing that I dug about the way it was written, that it jumped around so much. It was super cool, going from narrator to soliloquy to scientific study. It almost felt like reading a thousand books in one.
Plot wise, though, I struggled. There were too many interruptions for me to get borderline obsessed with this book. (I mean, for being called MOBY DICK, where the fuck was the title character? After 400 of 450 pages you finally show your face??? FUCKING RUDE.) I definitely hoped for more excitement. Up until the very end, not too much has happened. Yeah, you guys killed a bunch of whales that don't have books named after them. SUPER COOL.
Still though, I enjoyed this book. The language was incredible. The themes were impressive. I liked all the metaphors too. After I finished this book, I read that it's basically what you want it to mean, that that's why this book is so impressive, that it's just a shell of a lesson. And that really resonated with me, because the book can really be about anything. To me, it's basically about the limits of knowledge. Think about the whale, there is only so much that they know about it, they can only see the surface, yet there is SO MUCH really there. Think about anything in your life: this totally applies.
When I think about the meanings, or how impressive the language is, I like this book. I mean, isn't that why it's a classic? But it was still difficult to read and it felt like a chore. I like the idea of this book more than I actually liked it... (Honestly, I feel like I shouldn't be saying this out loud/in print. THIS IS A GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL AND I'M BASHING IT. DON'T CALL HOMELAND SECURITY. I'M NOT A TERRORIST. OF THE 10 G.A.N.s I'VE READ, I'M OBSESSED WITH THE REST.)
...So onto the ratings:
Did I talk about this book a lot when drunk? Yes. I talked about this book a lot, period. I wanted so badly to finish it. And I complained a lot about it. It was so long and so dull and so time consuming. Oh god, all of those interruptions about whale bones... everyone in my life heard about those. Yet...
Would I recommend this book when drunk? Yes. I mean, to a certain extent. It would depend on the person to whom I was recommending it. Do they like to read? (Really, do they??) Do they like to read difficult books? Do they like the sea? If they're looking for the next Twilight, then no, I wouldn't recommend this book. (Although, why the fuck am I talking to this person? We clearly are not friends.) But if they want a challenge and to read a classic and to love life a little bit more, than yes. Yes, I'd recommend Moby Dick.
THERE, I DID IT! I READ AND REVIEWED MOBY DICK. GOD, I FEEL LIKE AN INCREDIBLE HUMAN BEING!
Now back to books that don't feel quite like a chore.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Saturday, November 29, 2014
The Drunken Cookbook for the Drunken Blog
Well, well, well. It looks like I have another cookbook to review.
Another Blogging for Books book came, and this one seemed perfect for my blog: The Drunken Cookbook from Milton Crawford. What better book to get drunk and review than a cook book made for drunks.
I received the book a few days ago, right before a trip to Santa Barbara with my family. WHAT PERFECT TIMING. I flipped through it looking for the perfect food to make for my family once we all got wasted, which should easily be the second we arrive at our house.
The book is hilarious. The author warns you several times to not get too drunk and try to cook. They also have several tests to administer to determine what level of drunk you are, i.e. what level you can cook. (I accidentally forgot to take one of these tests.)
So, I picked a recipe that seemed relatively easy and relatively delicious: Char-Grilled Vegetable and Cheese Quesadillas with Fried Eggs.
Now comes the hard part.
EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE WE ARRIVED IN SANTA BARBARA WE HAVEN'T BEEN HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT SINCE WE'VE GOTTEN DRUNK. I blame Thanksgiving.
Finally, today, we took a trip to wine country and went to a vineyard and drank all day. After an hour back in the car, where we each took a nap, I started slaving away at the stove.
I forgot to take the quiz to see how drunk I was. Seeing as I made the food SOMEWHAT successfully and didn't burn this rental down, I'd say that I didn't need to.
The recipe was super easy to follow. I basically just looked at the ingredients and did what I wanted. Quesadillas are not hard, so I enjoyed a few glasses of wine while I cooked. My family sat in the other room eating cheese and crackers.
Basically, the most difficult part was chopping. Knives are dangerous.
After chopping up a bunch of veggies and toppings, you throw the veggies in the oven and burn them. Then you start making quesadillas. Then you fry some eggs. This is a lot easier the fewer people you have to cook for. I was cooking for five so it was super annoying and everyone seemed cranky that it was taking so long.
I made quesadillas one by one and the second I walked into the dining room, I wanted to cry. Every single person had the most MISERABLE look on their face. Apparently, they "ate way too much cheese while waiting." Fucking drunk people.
Throughout the "meal" I heard things like, "Well, I ate around the vegetables." "LOOK. I FINALLY ATE THE WHOLE THING." "Do you really want me to eat this until I puke? Because I will." AND THESE WERE MY PARENTS.
I thought it was pretty good, but I was surrounded by dickheads who hated everything. Clearly this was not my best effort. I think that I would make this again for people, but starve them before serving.
Onto the rating system:
Do I talk about this book a lot when I'm drunk?
Well, for the past few days, I made a big fucking deal about having to get drunk and make food for people based on a recipe from this book. And every time I was drunk I kept asking people to get hungry so I could cook. So yeah, sure, for the past 5 days, I've talked about this book A LOT while drunk.
So would I recommend this book while drunk?
I think it's a pretty good cookbook for drunk people, so probably. It's funny and easy to follow. I would just make sure people like meat. There are A LOT of meat recipes in here, so I don't know how much I'll use it. But yeah, I'll recommend it to my drunk, meat friendly friends.
Time to go get into the hot tub and drown my sorrows in more wine.
Oh, and here are some pictures of everyone looking ready to die:
Another Blogging for Books book came, and this one seemed perfect for my blog: The Drunken Cookbook from Milton Crawford. What better book to get drunk and review than a cook book made for drunks.
I received the book a few days ago, right before a trip to Santa Barbara with my family. WHAT PERFECT TIMING. I flipped through it looking for the perfect food to make for my family once we all got wasted, which should easily be the second we arrive at our house.
The book is hilarious. The author warns you several times to not get too drunk and try to cook. They also have several tests to administer to determine what level of drunk you are, i.e. what level you can cook. (I accidentally forgot to take one of these tests.)
So, I picked a recipe that seemed relatively easy and relatively delicious: Char-Grilled Vegetable and Cheese Quesadillas with Fried Eggs.
Now comes the hard part.
EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE WE ARRIVED IN SANTA BARBARA WE HAVEN'T BEEN HUNGRY ENOUGH TO EAT SINCE WE'VE GOTTEN DRUNK. I blame Thanksgiving.
Finally, today, we took a trip to wine country and went to a vineyard and drank all day. After an hour back in the car, where we each took a nap, I started slaving away at the stove.
I forgot to take the quiz to see how drunk I was. Seeing as I made the food SOMEWHAT successfully and didn't burn this rental down, I'd say that I didn't need to.
The recipe was super easy to follow. I basically just looked at the ingredients and did what I wanted. Quesadillas are not hard, so I enjoyed a few glasses of wine while I cooked. My family sat in the other room eating cheese and crackers.
After chopping up a bunch of veggies and toppings, you throw the veggies in the oven and burn them. Then you start making quesadillas. Then you fry some eggs. This is a lot easier the fewer people you have to cook for. I was cooking for five so it was super annoying and everyone seemed cranky that it was taking so long.
I made quesadillas one by one and the second I walked into the dining room, I wanted to cry. Every single person had the most MISERABLE look on their face. Apparently, they "ate way too much cheese while waiting." Fucking drunk people.
Throughout the "meal" I heard things like, "Well, I ate around the vegetables." "LOOK. I FINALLY ATE THE WHOLE THING." "Do you really want me to eat this until I puke? Because I will." AND THESE WERE MY PARENTS.
I thought it was pretty good, but I was surrounded by dickheads who hated everything. Clearly this was not my best effort. I think that I would make this again for people, but starve them before serving.
Onto the rating system:
Do I talk about this book a lot when I'm drunk?
Well, for the past few days, I made a big fucking deal about having to get drunk and make food for people based on a recipe from this book. And every time I was drunk I kept asking people to get hungry so I could cook. So yeah, sure, for the past 5 days, I've talked about this book A LOT while drunk.
So would I recommend this book while drunk?
I think it's a pretty good cookbook for drunk people, so probably. It's funny and easy to follow. I would just make sure people like meat. There are A LOT of meat recipes in here, so I don't know how much I'll use it. But yeah, I'll recommend it to my drunk, meat friendly friends.
Time to go get into the hot tub and drown my sorrows in more wine.
Oh, and here are some pictures of everyone looking ready to die:
Sunday, November 16, 2014
EAT: Drunk Dinner Party
HELLO DEAR READERS!
You are in for a treat.
Wait. Can I say "readers" when I only know for certain that I have one?
Correction: Dear Reader, (You know who you are.)
You are in for a treat. This is an ULTRA SPECIAL DRUNK BOOK REPORT, DINNER PARTY EDITION.
Let's start at the beginning. I got this new cookbook (for free, I feel like I must share that pertinent information) and decided the BEST way to review it was to pick several items and cook them for my closest friends. Oh, and get drunk in the process and then paraphrase all of the conversations from the party and write my review immediately. So here goes:
I got this cookbook, Eat by Nigel Slater. It's a pretty solid premise. I think it's referred to as fast cooking. I LOVE FAST COOKING, ALREADY SOLD. The book is separated by how things are cooked: on the stove, in the oven, on the grill, DESSERT. Just kidding. That last one isn't how it's cooked. They guy clearly got lazy in the naming strategy here. Regardless, it's kind of a cool idea.
AND OH DEAR GOD, THIS BOOK IS HILARIOUS. Each section starts with this INSANE DESCRIPTION of how/why/when/where/what this category. I can only provide excerpts to explain how incredible they are:
"There is an intimacy involved in eating food while holding it in your hands. An intimacy you cannot get from the cold steel of a knife and fork or even a pair of wooden chopsticks."
"You melt a slice of butter in a wide, shallow pan. When bubbles appear around the edge you slip in a fillet of fish and slowly let it cook, spooning the warm butter over and over. You watch the flesh change from pearl white to snow white and see the edges turn pale gold. You toss a salad or steam some green beans. You open a bottle of wine."
"We trap in the steam they produce, encouraging them to cook more quickly. Sometimes, the lid is on tight, so no steam escapes; other times it is left at a jaunty angle, like a cap."
JESUS CHRIST, NIGEL ARE YOU DRUNK??? THIS IS SO AMAZING.
Dear reader, have you watched much How I Met Your Mother? All I could think of when I read these ridiculous write ups was this scene:
ANYWAY. I decided to pick a few recipes and make dinner for a bunch of friends. I picked an appetizer, an entree and a side. There were A LOT of recipes to choose from. One thing this book does not lack is a lot of delicious sounding meals. I finally narrowed it down to:
Fig and Goat Cheese Focaccia - "Crisp bread. Melting cheese. Sweet figs."
Smoked Haddock with Lentils - "The calming quality of smoked fish and cream."
Eggplant and Chickpeas - "A textural thing."
(The quotations are the ACTUAL descriptions from the book. I wish I were joking.)
I doubled all of the recipes because they were only meant for two. I actually kind of like that idea for a normal, every day meal. (COOKING FOR ONE OVER HERE.) But for this it was kind of annoying because I was trying to cook for six. Another thing that was weird is that there weren't really instructions or specific measurements for most of the ingredients. It was more like, "Hey! Use a few carrots." "Cook the fish in this liquid." "A little oil should work." For someone like me, A TOTALLY EXPERIENCED, AMAZING CHEF, this didn't bother me because I typically use recipes more like GUIDELINES and do whatever the fuck I want. But for anyone else, this might be annoying. Like, how long do I cook the fish? How many carrots do you want me to use? What the fuck do you mean by a little oil should work? Do you want me to use a lot of oil? PLEASE ELABORATE.
With that said, all the recipes were pretty easy. I spread out making shit throughout the evening so I could get my drink on and socialize with my friends. I think I started everything at 5pm and finished at 7:30. Not too bad for 3 separate items. And I didn't really feel stressed or overwhelmed by any of the recipes I made. It was all, "Go grill this eggplant." "Toast this bread." Very small potatoes kind of stuff (that's a cooking pun, you're welcome).
The dinner party itself was also hilarious. We spent most of the time talking about weird sexual acts, fecal transfers, masturbation techniques, and NRBs. You know, your typical conversations. Things like, "That's not a Hot Carl. That's a Steaming Cleveland." "Why do men always jerk off together?" "What part of that is a communal activity?" "What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen in a bathroom?" "I knew this guy that could cum without cuming. He just taught himself how." "That guy should teach a seminar. Cum is so messy.""Oh fecal transfers. They're basically the human centipede, but scientific," Seriously, I think this is the most grown up dinner party in all of existence.
Mixed in were a few, "YUMMMM"s and "MMMMMBOY"s and "THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING MEAL I HAVE EVER HAD OMG JAYNE YOU ROCK MY WORLD"s. Everyone agreed the fish was the best part. I wasn't crazy about the eggplant, it needed something else, but everyone else seemed to like it. Or they were being polite. Oh and the focaccia was AWESOME right out of the oven, but not as good later in the evening. (Oh, P.S. totally use truffle goat cheese if you can find it. It adds a new layer of awesome to the party.)
Several bottles of wine and all the dishes I own dirtied, I'd say it was a successful party.
So the rating system: Would I recommend this book while drunk?
This is kind of a weird question because I'm not really walking around recommending cookbooks to people while I'm wasted (or ever). BUT I would definitely be like, "Oh shit, I made this bomb fish the other day. You should definitely make it some time if you like bomb fish." So yeah, I'm going to say that counts.
Would I talk about this book while drunk?
I would definitely talk about this dinner party and the food I made which would then lead to talking about this HILARIOUS book. Seriously. I have reread so many of these intros and just died laughing. I think if I'm ever in a bad mood, I will just read these section intros to cheer myself up.
My only regret of this dinner party is that Nigel himself couldn't come and describe all the food to me. I bet he has a great voice.
OH AND TAKING THIS POST TO A NEW LEVEL. HERE, TAKE A LOOK AT SOME PICTURES:
You are in for a treat.
Wait. Can I say "readers" when I only know for certain that I have one?
Correction: Dear Reader, (You know who you are.)
You are in for a treat. This is an ULTRA SPECIAL DRUNK BOOK REPORT, DINNER PARTY EDITION.
Let's start at the beginning. I got this new cookbook (for free, I feel like I must share that pertinent information) and decided the BEST way to review it was to pick several items and cook them for my closest friends. Oh, and get drunk in the process and then paraphrase all of the conversations from the party and write my review immediately. So here goes:
I got this cookbook, Eat by Nigel Slater. It's a pretty solid premise. I think it's referred to as fast cooking. I LOVE FAST COOKING, ALREADY SOLD. The book is separated by how things are cooked: on the stove, in the oven, on the grill, DESSERT. Just kidding. That last one isn't how it's cooked. They guy clearly got lazy in the naming strategy here. Regardless, it's kind of a cool idea.
AND OH DEAR GOD, THIS BOOK IS HILARIOUS. Each section starts with this INSANE DESCRIPTION of how/why/when/where/what this category. I can only provide excerpts to explain how incredible they are:
"There is an intimacy involved in eating food while holding it in your hands. An intimacy you cannot get from the cold steel of a knife and fork or even a pair of wooden chopsticks."
"You melt a slice of butter in a wide, shallow pan. When bubbles appear around the edge you slip in a fillet of fish and slowly let it cook, spooning the warm butter over and over. You watch the flesh change from pearl white to snow white and see the edges turn pale gold. You toss a salad or steam some green beans. You open a bottle of wine."
"We trap in the steam they produce, encouraging them to cook more quickly. Sometimes, the lid is on tight, so no steam escapes; other times it is left at a jaunty angle, like a cap."
JESUS CHRIST, NIGEL ARE YOU DRUNK??? THIS IS SO AMAZING.
Dear reader, have you watched much How I Met Your Mother? All I could think of when I read these ridiculous write ups was this scene:
ANYWAY. I decided to pick a few recipes and make dinner for a bunch of friends. I picked an appetizer, an entree and a side. There were A LOT of recipes to choose from. One thing this book does not lack is a lot of delicious sounding meals. I finally narrowed it down to:
Fig and Goat Cheese Focaccia - "Crisp bread. Melting cheese. Sweet figs."
Smoked Haddock with Lentils - "The calming quality of smoked fish and cream."
Eggplant and Chickpeas - "A textural thing."
(The quotations are the ACTUAL descriptions from the book. I wish I were joking.)
I doubled all of the recipes because they were only meant for two. I actually kind of like that idea for a normal, every day meal. (COOKING FOR ONE OVER HERE.) But for this it was kind of annoying because I was trying to cook for six. Another thing that was weird is that there weren't really instructions or specific measurements for most of the ingredients. It was more like, "Hey! Use a few carrots." "Cook the fish in this liquid." "A little oil should work." For someone like me, A TOTALLY EXPERIENCED, AMAZING CHEF, this didn't bother me because I typically use recipes more like GUIDELINES and do whatever the fuck I want. But for anyone else, this might be annoying. Like, how long do I cook the fish? How many carrots do you want me to use? What the fuck do you mean by a little oil should work? Do you want me to use a lot of oil? PLEASE ELABORATE.
With that said, all the recipes were pretty easy. I spread out making shit throughout the evening so I could get my drink on and socialize with my friends. I think I started everything at 5pm and finished at 7:30. Not too bad for 3 separate items. And I didn't really feel stressed or overwhelmed by any of the recipes I made. It was all, "Go grill this eggplant." "Toast this bread." Very small potatoes kind of stuff (that's a cooking pun, you're welcome).
The dinner party itself was also hilarious. We spent most of the time talking about weird sexual acts, fecal transfers, masturbation techniques, and NRBs. You know, your typical conversations. Things like, "That's not a Hot Carl. That's a Steaming Cleveland." "Why do men always jerk off together?" "What part of that is a communal activity?" "What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen in a bathroom?" "I knew this guy that could cum without cuming. He just taught himself how." "That guy should teach a seminar. Cum is so messy.""Oh fecal transfers. They're basically the human centipede, but scientific," Seriously, I think this is the most grown up dinner party in all of existence.
Mixed in were a few, "YUMMMM"s and "MMMMMBOY"s and "THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING MEAL I HAVE EVER HAD OMG JAYNE YOU ROCK MY WORLD"s. Everyone agreed the fish was the best part. I wasn't crazy about the eggplant, it needed something else, but everyone else seemed to like it. Or they were being polite. Oh and the focaccia was AWESOME right out of the oven, but not as good later in the evening. (Oh, P.S. totally use truffle goat cheese if you can find it. It adds a new layer of awesome to the party.)
Several bottles of wine and all the dishes I own dirtied, I'd say it was a successful party.
So the rating system: Would I recommend this book while drunk?
This is kind of a weird question because I'm not really walking around recommending cookbooks to people while I'm wasted (or ever). BUT I would definitely be like, "Oh shit, I made this bomb fish the other day. You should definitely make it some time if you like bomb fish." So yeah, I'm going to say that counts.
Would I talk about this book while drunk?
I would definitely talk about this dinner party and the food I made which would then lead to talking about this HILARIOUS book. Seriously. I have reread so many of these intros and just died laughing. I think if I'm ever in a bad mood, I will just read these section intros to cheer myself up.
My only regret of this dinner party is that Nigel himself couldn't come and describe all the food to me. I bet he has a great voice.
OH AND TAKING THIS POST TO A NEW LEVEL. HERE, TAKE A LOOK AT SOME PICTURES:
Saturday, October 18, 2014
O Africa, The Book That Launched A Thousand Blogs
GOOD EVENING, FRIENDS!
This is the book that started it all. We wouldn't be here today if it weren't for O Africa, because this blog wouldn't be here. So many things would be different in our lives. I wouldn't have read this book for starters.
But I did, so let's discuss.
O Africa was a pretty good book. It took me a bit of time to get into, mostly because I was distracted by the Kavalier and Clay similarities, but once I did, I was hooked.
Let's start with the obvious. This guy LOVES Michael Chabon. And I mean, who doesn't! I'm a huge fan, hell, my whole last post was about him. (WOAH. Am I being incepted? I just read a book written buy a guy who wants to write like Chabon after reading a book by Chabon who wants to write like Fitzgerald. MIND. BLOWN.)
Back to the book: Super well written, interesting plot. The story follows two twin brothers. Obviously they're the exact opposite. (Side note: are twins ever super similar? I feel like the Olsens probably are. Do they hate the fact that everyone thinks twins are polar opposites?) One brother, Micah Grand is very rambunctious and showy and thrives on attention, the other brother Izzy Grand is super shy and reserved. They became obsessed with film as children and followed their passion to become famous movie people.
The story starts in the 20s during the silent film era, when both of these brothers are crazy famous and important for their goofy films. I basically see them as a kind of Apatow crowd type of movie makers. Obviously Micah runs into some financial trouble, because he is the troubled twin, and the twins agree to make a movie for some black gangsters while filming some stock footage in Africa.
This film within a book is kind of like Django, but starts at the very beginning of black history. It's a very moving picture, which the script of it takes up a whole chapter which is a very cool stylistic approach. The Grand brothers are very revolutionary in agreeing to make a movie this controversial.
AND THIS IS WHERE THE STORY GETS GOOD.
A lot of shit happens in Africa:
• A motley crew of film people begin to film three films simultaneously, one of which is a HUGE SECRET (the gangster movie) to most of the people involved.
• Izzy, who is totally gay but too neurotic and reserved to admit it in New York, falls for an African prince and becomes himself i.e. gay.
• Micah kind of becomes a decent man while he's there, living up to his full potential, filming this important movie and bonding with the people that he meets
• All of these people learn the culture of the Africans and begin to understand humanity a little more
• A very horrible thing happens that snowballs and escalates and basically sets up every single character to fail by the end of the book. It's heartbreaking and amazing storytelling. It came out of nowhere. (Unless of course, you're a fan of the Checkov's gun principle. HAVE I SAID TOO MUCH?)
Basically, once they get back from Africa, the story is crazy captivating and I was mildly obsessed with finishing it. No character gets off unscathed, and that's how I like to finish a book, with everything in shambles. (What does this say about me?)
There are a lot of cool little touches in this book, like the beginning scene with Babe Ruth inventing the Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island and the brothers nicknaming the Academy Award Oscar. These are fun little anecdotes that help soften the overall sadness you feel while reading the book.
Overall, this was a smart, exciting book that touches on a lot of tough topics like homosexuality, race, love, loss, and violence. And it does all of this in a cool way that you don't expect what's coming to you.
So, rating system...
Have I talked about this book while drunk? Actually, surprisingly not very much. I did, however, talk about it this evening in the process of getting drunk for this book report. Does this count? I honestly don't think I was sold on it until I finished it. And seeing as I just finished it yesterday, I haven't had much time to get drunk and talk about it. I PROMISE I'LL CHANGE.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? I am sad to say that this is now the SECOND book report where I'm saying I would recommend The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay over this book. (I'm assuming I said this). However, this is a good book, and I would absolutely recommend it if I was asked specifically about this book. (I mean, come on, I have a ton of books that I would recommend before this one.)
OKAY YAY BOOKS GOODNIGHT.
This is the book that started it all. We wouldn't be here today if it weren't for O Africa, because this blog wouldn't be here. So many things would be different in our lives. I wouldn't have read this book for starters.
But I did, so let's discuss.
O Africa was a pretty good book. It took me a bit of time to get into, mostly because I was distracted by the Kavalier and Clay similarities, but once I did, I was hooked.
Let's start with the obvious. This guy LOVES Michael Chabon. And I mean, who doesn't! I'm a huge fan, hell, my whole last post was about him. (WOAH. Am I being incepted? I just read a book written buy a guy who wants to write like Chabon after reading a book by Chabon who wants to write like Fitzgerald. MIND. BLOWN.)
Back to the book: Super well written, interesting plot. The story follows two twin brothers. Obviously they're the exact opposite. (Side note: are twins ever super similar? I feel like the Olsens probably are. Do they hate the fact that everyone thinks twins are polar opposites?) One brother, Micah Grand is very rambunctious and showy and thrives on attention, the other brother Izzy Grand is super shy and reserved. They became obsessed with film as children and followed their passion to become famous movie people.
The story starts in the 20s during the silent film era, when both of these brothers are crazy famous and important for their goofy films. I basically see them as a kind of Apatow crowd type of movie makers. Obviously Micah runs into some financial trouble, because he is the troubled twin, and the twins agree to make a movie for some black gangsters while filming some stock footage in Africa.
This film within a book is kind of like Django, but starts at the very beginning of black history. It's a very moving picture, which the script of it takes up a whole chapter which is a very cool stylistic approach. The Grand brothers are very revolutionary in agreeing to make a movie this controversial.
AND THIS IS WHERE THE STORY GETS GOOD.
A lot of shit happens in Africa:
• A motley crew of film people begin to film three films simultaneously, one of which is a HUGE SECRET (the gangster movie) to most of the people involved.
• Izzy, who is totally gay but too neurotic and reserved to admit it in New York, falls for an African prince and becomes himself i.e. gay.
• Micah kind of becomes a decent man while he's there, living up to his full potential, filming this important movie and bonding with the people that he meets
• All of these people learn the culture of the Africans and begin to understand humanity a little more
• A very horrible thing happens that snowballs and escalates and basically sets up every single character to fail by the end of the book. It's heartbreaking and amazing storytelling. It came out of nowhere. (Unless of course, you're a fan of the Checkov's gun principle. HAVE I SAID TOO MUCH?)
Basically, once they get back from Africa, the story is crazy captivating and I was mildly obsessed with finishing it. No character gets off unscathed, and that's how I like to finish a book, with everything in shambles. (What does this say about me?)
There are a lot of cool little touches in this book, like the beginning scene with Babe Ruth inventing the Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island and the brothers nicknaming the Academy Award Oscar. These are fun little anecdotes that help soften the overall sadness you feel while reading the book.
Overall, this was a smart, exciting book that touches on a lot of tough topics like homosexuality, race, love, loss, and violence. And it does all of this in a cool way that you don't expect what's coming to you.
So, rating system...
Have I talked about this book while drunk? Actually, surprisingly not very much. I did, however, talk about it this evening in the process of getting drunk for this book report. Does this count? I honestly don't think I was sold on it until I finished it. And seeing as I just finished it yesterday, I haven't had much time to get drunk and talk about it. I PROMISE I'LL CHANGE.
Would I recommend this book while drunk? I am sad to say that this is now the SECOND book report where I'm saying I would recommend The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay over this book. (I'm assuming I said this). However, this is a good book, and I would absolutely recommend it if I was asked specifically about this book. (I mean, come on, I have a ton of books that I would recommend before this one.)
OKAY YAY BOOKS GOODNIGHT.
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Two for One, Let's Do This, Borrowed Books Edition: Mysteries of Pittsburgh and Wild
During the course of a week, I read two books: Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon and Wild by Cheryl Strayed. Let's just cover them both in this one post because, honestly, I'm a little drunk and it took me far too long to figure out how to create a new post...
FIRST UP: MYSTERIES OF PITTSBURGH!!!
So I'm a big Chabon fan. Alright, maybe not big. I've read Adventures of Kavalier and Clay before this and loved it. ANYWAY, this cool dude at work lent me his copy so why the heck not! I'm from Pittsburgh and I dig this author. Fast forward 3 days later. (Well, this timeline is a little off. He lent me the book while I was still reading GDUBS. And now it's been about 2 weeks since I finished it, but for blogging sake, let's just call it three days, because I read it in such.)
This blog post is getting off to a bad start. Let's rewind. THIS IS A PRETTY GREAT BOOK.
Chabon really knows how to write. I was really impressed when I learned that he wrote this book in his attic at what sounds like a very uncomfortable desk because the writing was so beautiful. He has a way of turning such simple statements into a lyrical masterpiece. A+ for composition, my good sir.
Not too much happens in the plot. It's very Gatsbyesque. Summertime. New, troubled friends. Big drama. Death. End of summer and end of friendship. (Oh, should I have said spoiler alert there?) I like the modern twist on the whole Gatsby plot. It takes place in Pittsburgh during this dude's summer, which is cool because I love Pittsburgh. It follows his relationships with his new friends and the troubles that they cause. Oh and the gangster dad was cool.
I feel like I don't have a lot to say about this book. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Like I said, super well written, and the character development is superb. But I just don't feel like there are many opinions that I have about it. Related things that I have MANY, STRONG opinions about: The Great Gatsby, The Very Horrible, No Good Gatsby Movie Adaptation, and of course, the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. (WOAH. Just realized... The GREAT Gatsby. The AMAZING Adventures. Maybe I should only read books with such strong adjectives. If this were The STUPENDOUS Mysteries, maybe I would have had more opinions.)
In conclusion. Good book, worth reading.
Onto my rating system. If I'm remembering correctly, it's:
How much have I talked about this book while drunk? Not that much, actually. I've talked about Kavalier and Clay drunk way more. And I haven't had much time to get drunk since I've finished it. I have said that I need to write this book review, while drunk. Oh and I feel like my standard line about this book has been: I LOVE PITTSBURGH, OF COURSE I LIKE THIS BOOK. (Side note: I really don't feel like I'm selling this book. It's good! I swear!)
Would I recommend this book while drunk? I don't know, you tell me. Have I done a good job so far?
ON TO THE NEXT, ON ON TO THE NEXT: WILD. (This was also lent to me by a super cool guy at work. Not the same aforementioned guy. I work with a lot of cool guys.)
This book I have mixed feelings about.
When I started it, I was sitting at a pizza shop, sobbing. And I couldn't put it down. I walked from the pizza shop back to my office, still reading and still crying. I thought it was insanely captivating and emotional and fantastic.
So this woman loses her mother to cancer and basically loses the rest of her life in the process. Not to bring this down, because I OBVIOUSLY don't want to be a buzzkill, but I can totally relate. My mother (Jesus, my whole fucking family) are the greatest thing in the whole wide world so imagining what this woman went through is hell. And I can totally see why she did the things she did to cope.
After she basically ruins her entire life, this badass woman decides to hike from Mexico to Oregon. It's basically a test of her strength and a way to find herself after this terrible ordeal, and I must say it makes complete sense to me.
As she endures this insanity, the author reflects on the past, interweaving memories and stories to give life to what could probably become a little dull. And it's totally heart wrenching and at parts completely awful to read.
But my issue with the book is the end. Strayed spends basically half a paragraph getting over her mother, "seeing the light." And then puts a pretty bandaid over the rest by talking about the marriage and kids that happen over the next like, 15 years. After 300 pages of heartbreak and loss, it felt like kind of a copout.
I want to love this book because of how emotional it made me feel and how relatable I feel that it is, but the end kind of threw me for a curve. I spent a day reading the last third of the book and felt completely let down when I reached the end. I DO NOT CARE FOR BOOKS LIKE THIS.
So have I talked about this book while drunk? Yes. Absolutely. I talked a lot about this book. Up until the final pages, I would have been shouting from the mountaintops how much I enjoyed ( I don't know if I'd say enjoyed...) reading this. But then after I finished it, these talks would kind of turn into rants...
Would I recommend this book while drunk? During the time I was reading this, at about halfway through, I would take this book out of my purse and recommend it to everyone around me, while drunk. That is a very good sign in Drunk Book Report world. Since then, I've given a lot of caveats... This is why I refuse to recommend books until I've finished them. I've read some pretty awful pieces of shit that redeem themselves at the end. Or even books that I think are the greatest thing since sliced bread and end up hating because the end. That's not the case here. I just was a little, underwhelmed by her decision to end the book the way she did. I don't think that it needed the happy ending, it could absolutely stand on it's own.
MAN, that felt like a chore, writing two book reports at once while drunk. I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. I PROMISE TO ALWAYS STAY ON TOP OF MY DRUNK BOOK REPORTS, EVEN IF THAT MEANS GETTING DRUNK THE SECOND I FINISH A BOOK.
GOODNIGHT, FRIENDS!
FIRST UP: MYSTERIES OF PITTSBURGH!!!
So I'm a big Chabon fan. Alright, maybe not big. I've read Adventures of Kavalier and Clay before this and loved it. ANYWAY, this cool dude at work lent me his copy so why the heck not! I'm from Pittsburgh and I dig this author. Fast forward 3 days later. (Well, this timeline is a little off. He lent me the book while I was still reading GDUBS. And now it's been about 2 weeks since I finished it, but for blogging sake, let's just call it three days, because I read it in such.)
This blog post is getting off to a bad start. Let's rewind. THIS IS A PRETTY GREAT BOOK.
Chabon really knows how to write. I was really impressed when I learned that he wrote this book in his attic at what sounds like a very uncomfortable desk because the writing was so beautiful. He has a way of turning such simple statements into a lyrical masterpiece. A+ for composition, my good sir.
Not too much happens in the plot. It's very Gatsbyesque. Summertime. New, troubled friends. Big drama. Death. End of summer and end of friendship. (Oh, should I have said spoiler alert there?) I like the modern twist on the whole Gatsby plot. It takes place in Pittsburgh during this dude's summer, which is cool because I love Pittsburgh. It follows his relationships with his new friends and the troubles that they cause. Oh and the gangster dad was cool.
I feel like I don't have a lot to say about this book. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Like I said, super well written, and the character development is superb. But I just don't feel like there are many opinions that I have about it. Related things that I have MANY, STRONG opinions about: The Great Gatsby, The Very Horrible, No Good Gatsby Movie Adaptation, and of course, the Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. (WOAH. Just realized... The GREAT Gatsby. The AMAZING Adventures. Maybe I should only read books with such strong adjectives. If this were The STUPENDOUS Mysteries, maybe I would have had more opinions.)
In conclusion. Good book, worth reading.
Onto my rating system. If I'm remembering correctly, it's:
How much have I talked about this book while drunk? Not that much, actually. I've talked about Kavalier and Clay drunk way more. And I haven't had much time to get drunk since I've finished it. I have said that I need to write this book review, while drunk. Oh and I feel like my standard line about this book has been: I LOVE PITTSBURGH, OF COURSE I LIKE THIS BOOK. (Side note: I really don't feel like I'm selling this book. It's good! I swear!)
Would I recommend this book while drunk? I don't know, you tell me. Have I done a good job so far?
ON TO THE NEXT, ON ON TO THE NEXT: WILD. (This was also lent to me by a super cool guy at work. Not the same aforementioned guy. I work with a lot of cool guys.)
This book I have mixed feelings about.
When I started it, I was sitting at a pizza shop, sobbing. And I couldn't put it down. I walked from the pizza shop back to my office, still reading and still crying. I thought it was insanely captivating and emotional and fantastic.
So this woman loses her mother to cancer and basically loses the rest of her life in the process. Not to bring this down, because I OBVIOUSLY don't want to be a buzzkill, but I can totally relate. My mother (Jesus, my whole fucking family) are the greatest thing in the whole wide world so imagining what this woman went through is hell. And I can totally see why she did the things she did to cope.
After she basically ruins her entire life, this badass woman decides to hike from Mexico to Oregon. It's basically a test of her strength and a way to find herself after this terrible ordeal, and I must say it makes complete sense to me.
As she endures this insanity, the author reflects on the past, interweaving memories and stories to give life to what could probably become a little dull. And it's totally heart wrenching and at parts completely awful to read.
But my issue with the book is the end. Strayed spends basically half a paragraph getting over her mother, "seeing the light." And then puts a pretty bandaid over the rest by talking about the marriage and kids that happen over the next like, 15 years. After 300 pages of heartbreak and loss, it felt like kind of a copout.
I want to love this book because of how emotional it made me feel and how relatable I feel that it is, but the end kind of threw me for a curve. I spent a day reading the last third of the book and felt completely let down when I reached the end. I DO NOT CARE FOR BOOKS LIKE THIS.
So have I talked about this book while drunk? Yes. Absolutely. I talked a lot about this book. Up until the final pages, I would have been shouting from the mountaintops how much I enjoyed ( I don't know if I'd say enjoyed...) reading this. But then after I finished it, these talks would kind of turn into rants...
Would I recommend this book while drunk? During the time I was reading this, at about halfway through, I would take this book out of my purse and recommend it to everyone around me, while drunk. That is a very good sign in Drunk Book Report world. Since then, I've given a lot of caveats... This is why I refuse to recommend books until I've finished them. I've read some pretty awful pieces of shit that redeem themselves at the end. Or even books that I think are the greatest thing since sliced bread and end up hating because the end. That's not the case here. I just was a little, underwhelmed by her decision to end the book the way she did. I don't think that it needed the happy ending, it could absolutely stand on it's own.
MAN, that felt like a chore, writing two book reports at once while drunk. I WILL NEVER DO THIS AGAIN. I PROMISE TO ALWAYS STAY ON TOP OF MY DRUNK BOOK REPORTS, EVEN IF THAT MEANS GETTING DRUNK THE SECOND I FINISH A BOOK.
GOODNIGHT, FRIENDS!
Saturday, August 16, 2014
GDUBS BITCH!
I read a book about George Washington. Yes, THAT George Washington. He's kind of a dick.
Let's start at the beginning: a few months ago, I decided to do a crazy thing. I thought, " I don't know much about history," much like Same Cooke. And I thought the best way around this was to read a biography of every president starting with good old George Washington. After much research, I found this book called, "Washington: A Life," by Ron Chernow. Three months later, here we are.
Now, I'm typically a person that can read a book in a day. With a looming library due date, I've finished 800 pages in a matter of days. So an 817 page biography of our founding father didn't really deter me, in the beginning. However, after embarking on this journey, even the most well-written biography would feel like a chore. It took me three months to read this monster.
Despite all of this, I feel like I learned a lot! Mr. Chernow definitely knows his shit. He wrote a really amazing book about the father of our country, and I'm glad I decided to read it.
HOWEVER, Washington kind of sucks. Before I read this book, I knew a few select things about him:
1. He lead our country in fighting the British in the Revolutionary war - WHAT A GREAT GUY!
2. After the war, he went back to his farm rather than usurping power. (THIS WAS A BIG DEAL. In all of history, you lead a war AND THEN YOU TAKE ALL THE POWER. THAT'S JUST HOW YOU ROLLED. GDUBS WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.)
3. He had wooden teeth and never told a lie. (I found out while reading this, his initial biographies were SO BORING that the writers made up stories about the cherry tree and lying to make him seem more exciting!)
That's about it. Other than that, he was pretty perfect from what I'd gathered (from the way our country talks about this man).
BOY WAS I WRONG.
Reasons why I think GDUBS totally sucks:
1. His whole career was totally calculated. He did everything he could to get into a position of power. When he was nominated to lead the Revolutionary War, it's only because he SHOWED UP TO THE VOTE WEARING HIS ARMY COSTUME. LIKE WTF!? AND HE PRETENDED HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH IT BY RUNNING OUT OF THE ROOM WHEN HE WAS NOMINATED! He was the original, "dress for the position you want, not the position you have" guy.
1B. The reason he "retired" after the war was so that he would be a more desirable candidate for President. Like, who wouldn't want to vote for the guy that's like, "No thanks, I'm just gonna go home! Good luck figuring this whole new country thing out!" OF COURSE HE WAS UNANIMOUSLY VOTED FOR PRESIDENT. PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE.
2. He was a total fucking hypocrite. In SO MANY WAYS. This is my biggest issue with GDubs.
To begin: slavery. The guy said his whole life that he was against slavery and wanted to find a way to abolish it. Did he? NO. Not to mention the fact, while the capital was in Philly, there was this law that stated if a slave resided in PA for 6 months, he/she would become free. What did G + M DUBS do with this knowledge? They would send their slaves out of state so that they were no longer eligible. "Oh hey, Billy Lee. You've been here for 5 months and 29 days, why don't you go back to Mount Vernon for a while?" TOTALLY FUCKING SNEAKY AND FUCKED UP. I will never get over this fact.
He definitely tried to remedy the situation by freeing his slaves upon his death. HOWEVER THIS STORY IS STILL TOTALLY FUCKED UP. Up until his DEATH BED, he had two wills. One that would free his slaves, his other normal will that placed his slaves into someone else's hands. ALSO, instead of freeing his slaves upon his death, he decided to free them upon MARTHA'S death. And any slave that was part of her family was not freed. Basically, he found a way to politically redeem himself for the parts of the country that were pro-slavery, without actually doing anything to advance the African-American plight.
Totally less fucked up, but still hypocritical: GDUBS was totally against political parties. His whole "ideology" while President was to create a unified country. However, he HATED the Republican party and did everything in his power to thwart their plans. I mean, this is not very different from today's world. But dude, don't say you're against something and then do everything in you're power to stop the other party from doing anything.
3. He didn't seem to care much about anything other than his stupid house. All through the Revolutionary War, he was writing countless letters back to his housekeeps about the drapes and the grounds and etc. THERE WAS A HUGE WAR GOING ON, GEORGE. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR DRAPES. It was the same thing while he was President. He was constantly writing letters about the state of Mount Vernon rather than weigh his opinion on the development of our country. Chernow seemed to think that he liked to "think things through," but I don't think that he gave a shit for much other than his drapes.
4. Also, he totally started the French and Indian war. So GDUBS was all pissed off that no one in Great Britain respected him and he was certain that the Indians were spying on his army. He decided to trek all night to find them and confront them for their duplicate nature. AND THEN HE SHOT A GUY IN THE HEAD. This literally started the French and Indian war. And all of England was super pissed at this young hot shot that defied orders. In my mind he was super reckless and insane. (But kind of badass. Come on, I'm not a robot.)
But the book was totally great. Chernow is a great writer. I never thought that I would be as into a presidential biography as much as I was. I found myself talking about GDUBS A LOT. Like too much. "Hey, first date, do you want to know what I think about George Washington's sexual life? Of course you do."
I definitely felt like reading this was relatable to current times. I wasn't aware there was so much hatred and political partisanship back in the day. While reading this, I totally could have replaced, "Washington," with "Obama," and been none the wiser. It's kind of nice to know that some things don't change.
One thing, though, that I think Chernow KIND of hints at, but never explicitly says, is how TOTALLY GAY GBUBS IS. The guy was totally obsessed with the way he and his house looked. To the point that he would write insanely detailed letters to his tailor and housekeeper of how outfits/decor should look. Also, Martha was totally his beard. She was an older, kind of frumpy woman who had a lot of money and connections. GDUBS wouldn't have succeeded without her. They also never had kids. Martha had children in her previous marriage. Chernow theorizes that GDUBS was infertile, but I'm pretty sure it's because he didn't want to have sex with a woman. ALSO, there's this story in the book about how GDUBS goes fishing with some dudes and is so perplexed about how to even go about working the pole... and the next paragraph talks about how comfortable he is at the ball with all the women. ALSO, WOMEN TOTALLY LOVED GDUBS. HE BASICALLY STARTED AMERICA. They were always throwing themselves at him, and he loved women, but never stepped out on Martha. I'm pretty sure he was into dudes. He also loved Lafayette a little too much. My point is, where is the gay biography of GDUBS?
I feel like I've rambled enough. It's 2am, the Jamo has hit me, and I've said everything I want to about GDUBS. Fine president, good book.
Now let me introduce my scale for rating the books I read.
On a scale of 1 - 10, how much have you talked about this book while drunk: 8. I talk about it quite a bit. To the point of being annoying.
How likely am I to recommend this book (while drunk): It depends. Is the person I'm talking to interested in biographies/history/GDUBS? If so: YES. If not, I don't know. It's a great book, but a total challenge.
YAY BOOZE OKAY GOODNIGHT.
Let's start at the beginning: a few months ago, I decided to do a crazy thing. I thought, " I don't know much about history," much like Same Cooke. And I thought the best way around this was to read a biography of every president starting with good old George Washington. After much research, I found this book called, "Washington: A Life," by Ron Chernow. Three months later, here we are.
Now, I'm typically a person that can read a book in a day. With a looming library due date, I've finished 800 pages in a matter of days. So an 817 page biography of our founding father didn't really deter me, in the beginning. However, after embarking on this journey, even the most well-written biography would feel like a chore. It took me three months to read this monster.
Despite all of this, I feel like I learned a lot! Mr. Chernow definitely knows his shit. He wrote a really amazing book about the father of our country, and I'm glad I decided to read it.
HOWEVER, Washington kind of sucks. Before I read this book, I knew a few select things about him:
1. He lead our country in fighting the British in the Revolutionary war - WHAT A GREAT GUY!
2. After the war, he went back to his farm rather than usurping power. (THIS WAS A BIG DEAL. In all of history, you lead a war AND THEN YOU TAKE ALL THE POWER. THAT'S JUST HOW YOU ROLLED. GDUBS WAS TOTALLY DIFFERENT.)
3. He had wooden teeth and never told a lie. (I found out while reading this, his initial biographies were SO BORING that the writers made up stories about the cherry tree and lying to make him seem more exciting!)
That's about it. Other than that, he was pretty perfect from what I'd gathered (from the way our country talks about this man).
BOY WAS I WRONG.
Reasons why I think GDUBS totally sucks:
1. His whole career was totally calculated. He did everything he could to get into a position of power. When he was nominated to lead the Revolutionary War, it's only because he SHOWED UP TO THE VOTE WEARING HIS ARMY COSTUME. LIKE WTF!? AND HE PRETENDED HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH IT BY RUNNING OUT OF THE ROOM WHEN HE WAS NOMINATED! He was the original, "dress for the position you want, not the position you have" guy.
1B. The reason he "retired" after the war was so that he would be a more desirable candidate for President. Like, who wouldn't want to vote for the guy that's like, "No thanks, I'm just gonna go home! Good luck figuring this whole new country thing out!" OF COURSE HE WAS UNANIMOUSLY VOTED FOR PRESIDENT. PEOPLE WANT WHAT THEY CAN'T HAVE.
2. He was a total fucking hypocrite. In SO MANY WAYS. This is my biggest issue with GDubs.
To begin: slavery. The guy said his whole life that he was against slavery and wanted to find a way to abolish it. Did he? NO. Not to mention the fact, while the capital was in Philly, there was this law that stated if a slave resided in PA for 6 months, he/she would become free. What did G + M DUBS do with this knowledge? They would send their slaves out of state so that they were no longer eligible. "Oh hey, Billy Lee. You've been here for 5 months and 29 days, why don't you go back to Mount Vernon for a while?" TOTALLY FUCKING SNEAKY AND FUCKED UP. I will never get over this fact.
He definitely tried to remedy the situation by freeing his slaves upon his death. HOWEVER THIS STORY IS STILL TOTALLY FUCKED UP. Up until his DEATH BED, he had two wills. One that would free his slaves, his other normal will that placed his slaves into someone else's hands. ALSO, instead of freeing his slaves upon his death, he decided to free them upon MARTHA'S death. And any slave that was part of her family was not freed. Basically, he found a way to politically redeem himself for the parts of the country that were pro-slavery, without actually doing anything to advance the African-American plight.
Totally less fucked up, but still hypocritical: GDUBS was totally against political parties. His whole "ideology" while President was to create a unified country. However, he HATED the Republican party and did everything in his power to thwart their plans. I mean, this is not very different from today's world. But dude, don't say you're against something and then do everything in you're power to stop the other party from doing anything.
3. He didn't seem to care much about anything other than his stupid house. All through the Revolutionary War, he was writing countless letters back to his housekeeps about the drapes and the grounds and etc. THERE WAS A HUGE WAR GOING ON, GEORGE. NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR DRAPES. It was the same thing while he was President. He was constantly writing letters about the state of Mount Vernon rather than weigh his opinion on the development of our country. Chernow seemed to think that he liked to "think things through," but I don't think that he gave a shit for much other than his drapes.
4. Also, he totally started the French and Indian war. So GDUBS was all pissed off that no one in Great Britain respected him and he was certain that the Indians were spying on his army. He decided to trek all night to find them and confront them for their duplicate nature. AND THEN HE SHOT A GUY IN THE HEAD. This literally started the French and Indian war. And all of England was super pissed at this young hot shot that defied orders. In my mind he was super reckless and insane. (But kind of badass. Come on, I'm not a robot.)
But the book was totally great. Chernow is a great writer. I never thought that I would be as into a presidential biography as much as I was. I found myself talking about GDUBS A LOT. Like too much. "Hey, first date, do you want to know what I think about George Washington's sexual life? Of course you do."
I definitely felt like reading this was relatable to current times. I wasn't aware there was so much hatred and political partisanship back in the day. While reading this, I totally could have replaced, "Washington," with "Obama," and been none the wiser. It's kind of nice to know that some things don't change.
One thing, though, that I think Chernow KIND of hints at, but never explicitly says, is how TOTALLY GAY GBUBS IS. The guy was totally obsessed with the way he and his house looked. To the point that he would write insanely detailed letters to his tailor and housekeeper of how outfits/decor should look. Also, Martha was totally his beard. She was an older, kind of frumpy woman who had a lot of money and connections. GDUBS wouldn't have succeeded without her. They also never had kids. Martha had children in her previous marriage. Chernow theorizes that GDUBS was infertile, but I'm pretty sure it's because he didn't want to have sex with a woman. ALSO, there's this story in the book about how GDUBS goes fishing with some dudes and is so perplexed about how to even go about working the pole... and the next paragraph talks about how comfortable he is at the ball with all the women. ALSO, WOMEN TOTALLY LOVED GDUBS. HE BASICALLY STARTED AMERICA. They were always throwing themselves at him, and he loved women, but never stepped out on Martha. I'm pretty sure he was into dudes. He also loved Lafayette a little too much. My point is, where is the gay biography of GDUBS?
I feel like I've rambled enough. It's 2am, the Jamo has hit me, and I've said everything I want to about GDUBS. Fine president, good book.
Now let me introduce my scale for rating the books I read.
On a scale of 1 - 10, how much have you talked about this book while drunk: 8. I talk about it quite a bit. To the point of being annoying.
How likely am I to recommend this book (while drunk): It depends. Is the person I'm talking to interested in biographies/history/GDUBS? If so: YES. If not, I don't know. It's a great book, but a total challenge.
YAY BOOZE OKAY GOODNIGHT.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)